Sixty ft. of Bubble Gum, Endorphins, and a Mortgage

Somebody tell me how the girl who got A's all through high school and didn't lose her virginity until college, wound up becoming a stripper. She's already been married twice. Now she'll be her third husband's sixth wife. That's why she put a brick in her bouquet and their families threw maggots instead of rice. Just enough season ale to make it through the honeymoon. Let's hope they don't start any new traditions. Traditions only lead to war. And war creates a need for mothers. Let's consider that most mothers aren't just mothers. They're waitresses, bar maids, third dates, and friends who kiss. Some only want to be Bubble Gum Queens, pasted up in replica posters. Others hope their madness scented incense stay lit long enough for them to get a good grip on the comet when it comes crashing through the kitchen.