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Who submits the worst organized research papers? It is probably senior academics, who seem to forget with time the rules for successful submission learnt in their younger days, but who still manage to get published on the strength of their role and status within their chosen discipline. In at least some cases, it may even be a game, played by profligate authors to test an editor's patience, perhaps in revenge for some perceived slight of yesteryear. To those who play or want to play this game, called PIT*A, here is a summary of some classic moves.