Resolutions of the 2004 APCG Meeting, San Luis Obispo, California

Whereas the Geography faculty at California Polytechnic University, San Luis Obispo (CPSLO), has hosted the 67th meeting of the APCG with great distinction and aplomb, and

Whereas we have all benefited from their splendid efforts at organization, planning, and hospitality, and

Whereas we particularly want to recognize the efforts of our stalwart Conference Chair, Jim Keese, and his chief assistants, Don Vermeer, Cal Wilvert, and Jennifer O'Brien, plus all the other fine folks mentioned in the program, and

Whereas and nonetheless, it has come to the attention of the ever-vigilant Resolutions Committee that certain occurrences, perfor-mances, and actions merit special mention and acknowledgment, to wit, and

Whereas breaking all bounds of tradition and civilized behavior, Vice-President Jim Allen exhibited an extreme sense of overplanning by appointing your friendly Resolutions Committee a full 3 weeks prior to these meetings, the normal procedure being appointment at the Business Meeting a couple of hours before the banquet, and

Whereas for the first time in Association memory the host committee refused to list field-trip leaders before departure, thus eliminating responsibility should anything go wrong, while at the same time introducing the concept of the interactive field trip, and

Whereas Cindy Sorenson, University of Arizona, broke all rules of field-trip decorum by wearing lime-colored tennis shoes matched by lime-colored pants, and

Whereas Lay Gibson, also from the University of Arizona, opened our meeting by referencing our organization with all possible permutations of the letters APCG, apparently unsure which conference he was attending, and

Whereas AAG Past President "Allen" Murphy, University of Oregon, tried to overstate the increasing growth of geography by announcing new Ph.D. programs at both Reno and the University of Nevada, and

Whereas Pat Gober, Arizona State University and a resident of the fastest-growing metropolitan area of the United States, in her presentation on "Future Directions of Population Geography," announced that she will no longer teach Population Geography because she is "just a geographer," and

Whereas Waldo Tobler, UC-Santa Barbara emeritus, in his Plenary presentation of a metropolitan growth model gave new meaning to the term "uncontrolled urban sprawl" as his model simply refused to behave (you had to be there!), and

Whereas Paul Starrs and Gary Hausladen, University of Nevada at Reno, made the first known bribery attempt at an APCG meeting by offering $100 cash to change their presentation room in order to accommodate their masses of adoring fans, and

Whereas Bob Richardson, CSU-Sacramento, insisted at the opening session to give to all who would listen an extended explanation of the new and exciting Orfid font used on the APCG logo, and

Whereas Gary Cummisk, Dickenson State University, attempted to convince attendees that there really is a forest in North Dakota by secretly showing us slides of Montana while admitting that the so-called forest was really part of the National Grasslands, and

Whereas the session including Jim Craine, San Diego State University, talking about the movie "Fight Club," went a mere 30 minutes overtime, only because 400 pages of French philosophy were cut, thus implementing the first rule of French philosophy, which is to not talk about French philosophy, and

Whereas Larry Ford, San Diego State University, in purportedly giving a paper on "Color in Irish Towns," spent 60 percent of his presentation time talking about lack of color in American towns, but used colored slides to do so, and finally

Whereas the Host Committee wisely and adroitly chose as the site for our annual banquet the motel/hotel with the world's most famous urinals,

Therefore be it resolved that our well-organized, hard-working friends at CPSLO understand that we are all most grateful for a terrific meeting that future hosts will be challenged to equal.

Respectfully Submitted,
Bill Crowley,
Chair
Larry Ford
Hundreds of on-scene reporters