The Ruin Is Already a New Outcome: An Interview with Cui Zi'en

Cui Zi'en is a director, film scholar, screenwriter, novelist, and outspoken queer activist and scholar based in Beijing. He earned an MA in literature from the Chinese Academy of Social Science and serves as an assistant research fellow at the Film Research Institute of the Beijing Film Academy. He has published nine novels in China and Hong Kong, one of which, Uncle's Past, won the 2001 Radio Literature Award in Germany. He is also the author of six books on criticism and theory and writes columns for four magazines. In 2002, Cui Zi'en received a Felipa Award from the International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission and a California State Assembly Award in the United States.

Frequently referred to as a "queer auteur," Cui Zi'en is also one of the most avant-garde digital-video (DV) makers in Chinese underground cinema. His major films include the internationally renowned titles Enter the Clown (2002) and The Old Testament (2002). The Narrow Path (2003), Cui's newest work, tells the story of a gang of humans who abduct four aliens from Venus, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto.

Life: Homosexuality and Catholicism

Qi Wang: You are considered the first gay Chinese celebrity who exposed his sexual orientation in public. Is that accurate? How did you have such courage? How did you deal with the pressures you must have felt as a result of that honesty?

Cui Zi'en: I think they describe me that way because I was probably the first gay coming out in the public media. In December 2000, I appeared on a talk show on Hunan Satellite Television called Staying Cool. The other two guests were Ms. Li Yinhe, the famous sociologist of homosexual subculture, and Ms. Shi Tou, a lesbian artist. Before that, virtually no public media had been willing to give homosexual people a chance to show up before the public. I was really lucky. It was Li Yinhe who introduced Shi Tou and me to the show. We were actually paid for the appearance. Of course, there are people who are reluctant to expose their sexuality. As for myself, I came out long before that occasion, artistically, I mean, through my writing and filmmaking. I started publishing novels dealing with homosexuality in Hong Kong in 1996. When I came to work here [in the Beijing Film Academy] in 1987, the people around me all knew that I was gay.

QW: When did you become aware of your homosexual orientation?

CZ: Very young, before school age. When I was four or five, I was already in love with a little boy who lived next door and who was one year older than me. All the boyfriends I've had since are more or less a copy of him.

QW: How did you accept that discovery about yourself? Were you ever frustrated by it? Bullied or humiliated because of it? How did you manage to deal with all those pressures and pains?

CZ: I had always been a good kid, good at school, I mean. In Chinese culture, being a good student can gain you a lot of love and respect, so in school I had always been the teachers' sweetheart. They all liked me and tried to protect me in some way. Of course there were kids against me; some followed me on my way to or from school and wanted to humiliate or bully me, but somehow there were always some other kids who were on my side and protected me from them.

QW: Do you really have an uncle like the one in "Uncle's Secular Life"? I've been guessing that if you do have one, your being gay might have been a result of his influence.

CZ: I do have an uncle, but I've never really lived with him...