River Teeth: A Journal of Nonfiction Narrative

Joseph, Diana.
It's Me. It's Him. It's Them
River Teeth: A Journal of Nonfiction Narrative - Volume 9, Number 1, Fall 2007, pp. 1-10

University of Nebraska Press

Diana Joseph - It's Me. It's Him. It's Them - River Teeth: A Journal of Nonfiction Narrative 9:1 River Teeth: A Journal of Nonfiction Narrative 9.1 (2007) 1-10 MUSE Search Journals This Journal Contents It's Me. It's Him. It's Them. Diana Joseph It may just be me. I worry that my friend Andrew Boyle is a pervert even if he doesn't hang fuzzy dice from the rearview mirror of a sleekly black Pontiac Trans Am. Andrew doesn't own a Trans Am or a customized van all decked out with zebra skin rug, waterbed, and a sign that reads "If You See This Van A'Rockin' / Don't Come A'Knockin'." He doesn't linger in front of the Kwik-Trip where the troubled high school girls -- the pukers, the cutters, the partiers, the sluts -- like to hang out smoking cigarettes and drinking Diet Cokes after school. He doesn't unbutton his polyester shirt all the way down to his snakeskin belt. Andrew Boyle fusses over his appearance, he is always fashionably dressed, he purchases his clothes on eBay, designer brands so expensive I've never even heard of them. He doesn't wear polyester shirts. Andrew Boyle wouldn't be caught dead in polyester. Nor does he wear shiny shoes, like the ones the sleazy teacher at your school wore so he could stand close to a cheerleader and sneak peeks up her skirt in the reflection of his shoe. Though he lists Lolita as one of his favorite novels, Andrew does not leer at schoolyard nymphets, nor does he say light of my life, fire of my loins or hey little...