Getting Together: Building a Relationship That Gets to Yes (review)

272 SAIS REVIEW Getting Together: Buildinga Relationship That Gets to Yes. By Roger Fisher and Scott Brown. Boston: Houghton Mifflin Company, 1988. 216 pp. $17.95/cloth. Reviewed by Kimber M. Schraub, M.A. candidate, SAIS. In many ways a sequel to his 1981 national bestseller co-authored with William Ury, Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In, Roger Fisher has collaborated this time with Scott Brown, also of the Harvard Negotiation Project, to offer insights into building more effective or "working" relationships. Getting Together: Building a Relationship That Gets to Yes is a recipe book, of sorts. In language that appeals to both newlyweds and governmental decisionmakers (more so to newlyweds), the book provides list-like descriptions of essential ingredients to what the authors identify as an "unconditionally constructive " relationship. The first part of the book serves to inform and prepare the reader for what he or she is seeking to create; it serves the same purpose as the opening words of any good recipe. The primary goal is to construct a relationship that "deals well with differences." As a first step in the process, architects of a working relationship must disentangle the goals of the relationship—the process—from the substantive goals—the results. The strategy that best guides this process is to act in ways that are "unconditional," that is, in ways that do not reciprocate what another does. The authors summarize this rule of thumb in plain and personal terminology: "In short, I am looking for guidelines I can follow that will be both good for the relationship and good for me, whether or not you follow the same guidelines. In that sense, this strategy is 'unconditionally constructive.' " In part two, the essential ingredients, the basic elements of a working relationship , are described by way of prescription. They include rationality: the balancing of emotions with reason; understanding: learning how they see things; communication: always consulting before deciding; reliability: being wholly trustworthy , but not wholly trusting; persuasion not coercion: negotiating side by side; and acceptance: dealing seriously with those with whom we differ. The final section, termed "The Elements as Parts of a Whole," is analogous to the mixing and eventual baking of the ingredients, resulting in the final product (the working relationship). The prescription provided by the authors, "put it all together so that it fits," serves as the final step to the relationshipbuilding process. A clear intention of Fisher and Brown in Getting Together is to appeal to anyone and everyone who happens to be in a relationship. Naturally, then, the target audience is by no means limited. The unfortunate result is that for those readers who are at all familiar with current history of negotiation or bargaining , in which the conduct of constructive relationships is a key aspect, the book is compromised by its simplicity. For this reason, Getting Together lacks the kind of academic sophistication that other scholars have achieved with regards to negotiation theory and that is expected from the Harvard Negotiation Project . In particular, as a resource for the government official, policymaker, or BOOK REVIEWS 273 academic who is concerned with relationships among nations, the book is oversimplified : the concepts are self-evident yet lack insight, the language is catchy yet lacks sophistication, the goal —constructing a relationship that can deal with differences— is desirable but ultimately begs the question of plausibility. In sum, the recipe is appealing and the ingredients seem acceptable enough, but while the potential for error is avoided by the authors, it is, in practice, simply unavoidable. No matter how well the recipe is followed, the ingredients chosen, carefully measured and combined, sunken souffle and burnt brownies may well result. Likewise, no matter how closely a reader follows Fisher and Brown's prescriptions for an "unconditionally constructive" relationship, the result may still be an unavoidably destructive relationship. It is this aspect of effective relationship-building that most deserves attention in international politics , but which is least of all addressed in Getting Together. The questions— What do we do when the relationship will not "work"? What happens when we simply cannot "get together"?—go unanswered. The Iranian Triangle: The Untold Story ofIsrael's Role in the Iran...