XII. Meditation: On the Struggle With the Angel, and: XIII. Commentary: Thirteen Aphorisms on the Nature of Evil, and: Dialogue: On the Dream of the Celestial Ladder, and: XXI. Commentary: On the 13 Rungs of Sorrow, and: XX. Meditation: On Feeling That the Dead are Near

XII. MEDITATION: ON THE STRUGGLE WITH THE ANGEL/Ellen Hinsey I. Suddenly, in the heat-weight of summer afternoon, When stalks of bleached gram near their sacrifice, Knowledge tells you—yes—this shape that comes, Under the cover of beech shadow, by the stream, You have met before; you swear you know this sharp Harvest breath—as once bending in shade you Felt a presence near—or when from road-black Ught Shimmered once—and made one ask if aU that Rises invisible—disappears— Or perhaps was it from the depth of a haU-hewn sleep, When traUed by dreams you heard a fettered voice, And waking quickly made your accounts—with did— Or had—in that ledger which hangs by night above Your head, and detaUs aU your choices—No—you know This frame, which at close view could be yours— 154 · The Missouri Review The same—and resolute you square there, by the water As you had faUed to do in those thatch-dark hours, Though now, as then, you know yourself unequal to its Power— ?. For with a resolute strength it has found you out, Long-tired, it has watched you count out your sheaf Of days, unable in the end to separate the chaff From the holy—but tonight, under the leafed sky, One more time you wiU try, and weigh this Weightless bulk against your back—locked together You wiU stand, then—hammer, roll—lunge and Sway, until routed by its sure advance, reptant you WiU stagger back—but stiU hold fast to this frame Which could be no other— And no more separate than the body to its breath. This angel—now—come to test your strength, knows You part of the nature of beings who rarely rise To transcend the earth—and as such wiU faU too— Ellen Hinsey The Missouri Review · 155 With the harvest of things. StiU tonight—wrestle—face to face, pierce the gaze That by you alone is driven—for alone you wiU Face its roar and fire, as you struggle to make good With aU that is given. 156 · The Missouri Review Ellen Hinsey XJJI. COMMENTARY: THIRTEEN APHORISMS ON THE NATURE OF EVIL/EZZen Hinsey 1. The unconscious hand of Evil loves its own innocence. 2. EvU Uves for the existence of "the other"; for itself it prefers a famiUar, common existence. 3. Evil always owns its own orchard, and sits there gaüy picking cherries. 4. EvU loves the shape of the human hand, formed Uke its own; for that sublimely simple tool is capable of carrying out the most monstrously delicate atrocities. 5. In antiquity, Time begot Chaos. But from Chaos, surely, there arose EvU: for in Chaos there is ambiguity—and Darkness and Night—the home of human regret. 6. Temptation is made flesh by the love it borrows from the heart. 7. The wiU must chaUenge temptation as memory chaUenges obUvion. 8. The brave make a place at their table for Evil. For only firsthand knowledge of evU can transform meditation into action. The Missouri Review · 157 9. EvU is always waiting for opportunity's welcome: thriving as it does on the dark of judgment's ecUpse. 10. Time must tolerate the shape of Evil as it tolerates aU other miracles. 11. EvU loves its house, which it shares with history, which is blind. 12. One must never forget that history does not exist. Rather, only consciousness, which makes an imaginary house for time past. 13. And consciousness is the only sword which makes Evil tremble. 158 · The Missouri Review Ellen Hinsey DIALOGUE: ON THE DREAM OF THE CELESTIAL LADDER/EZZen Hinsey I was alone. And when a figure came to me, I knew not to answer with my voice. But I understood as weU how little knowledge my flesh contained. How I was suddenly empty. And my breath, sUght, shaUow, was the smaU mirror of my soul and my shame the preparation for the first rung. And were you led out? No. An impulse which was not thought brought me to the base of an immense ladder, and again I was pierced by the poverty of my understanding, the uselessness of my language...