Maybe I Will by Laurie Gray (review)

Sandy, of deliberately unidentified gender, has a sweet life: two longtime best friends, the lead in the school play, loving parents, and a fairly good shot at Juilliard. All that goes into suspension, however, when Aaron, one of Sandy’s best friends, assaults Sandy. Aaron’s girlfriend Cassie doesn’t believe Sandy, and Troy, the other member of the trio, sides with Cassie, leaving Sandy alone to deal with the trauma. Sandy begins to drink to dull the pain and steal to get the booze. Eventually, Sandy does confide in a co-star, Shanika, who encourages Sandy to join her in martial arts classes; between this physical outlet and the caring concern of adults, which eventually guides Sandy to therapy, things start to look up. Then Sandy discovers that Shanika, too, has been assaulted by Aaron, but it’s clear that without any evidence the police can’t proceed. While this plot point is unfortunately realistic, it’s narratively unsatisfying, particularly as the otherwise proactive adults do absolutely nothing to deal with him, which seems a contrived response (or lack thereof) in order to make a point. Instead, the focus is on Sandy and the good and bad choices Sandy makes in the aftermath of the assault. Though comparisons with Laurie Halse Anderson’s Speak (BCCB 10/99) are inevitable, this lacks that novel’s artistry. Sandy’s ambiguous gender and the fact that Aaron has attacked both boys and girls does, however, highlight the fact that sexual assault has nothing to do with sex; readers can make up their own minds about Sandy’s gender, or not, since the plot and Sandy’s relationships work either way.