The Squampkin Patch (review)

Milton and Chloe Nasselrogt (pronounced "nasal rod") are accidentally abandoned by their parents at the mall (the senior Nasselrogts become trapped for days in their tanning beds). Milton and Chloe end up incarcerated at an orphanage-cum-zipper factory run by the evil Y. K. K. Porifera. After a harrowing escape from Porifera, Milton and Chloe decide to lay low in an abandoned house with an attendant patch of pumpkin/squash hybrids called "squampkins." There they discover that the house has a troubled history, including the disappearance of its former owner, candymaker Charles Argyle and his nemesis, Benny, a child with an overpowering desire for sweets. Meanwhile, as Halloween approaches, the squampkins seem to be stirring—the patch makes a sighing, gurgling noise at night—and Porifera re-enters the picture, still searching for the wayward Nasselrogts. Creepy descriptions and jocularity that's macabre and arch by turns will please fans of horror and gross humor alike; the squampkins themselves hit the exact pitch between hilarious and horrifying, as does Friend's accompanying flip-book rendering of a squampkin's journey from tendril to terror. If the final battle with the squampkins and Porifera is a rather lengthy one, it nevertheless has plenty of viney twists and surprises to keep the momentum going, and those tempted to draw the obvious conclusions from the evidence may be in for a surprise. Readers who enjoy the gleefully grotesque and darkly farcical touch of Lemony Snicket will eat up this delightfully eerie misadventure.