Autobiography

Frank said, Clavern Redmon, Route 1. That's you, ain't it? Clavern studied the label a minute. Hmmm. That's me. You could see him figuring. Then he said, I reckon Grace's biddies come. Well! ?-hem! He grunted and mumbled, said he probably ought to get them on home. I rolled my eyes at Ed Bishop. I thought Glèn Frisbee was going to bust out laughing, but I frowned at him and shook my head, even though I was about to explode myself. Frank held the door open. Clavern left with the box. The last thing we heard was the biddies going cheep-cheep, cheep-cheep. When Frank closed the door, nobody said a word for a minute. Then all of us commenced at the same time going cheep-cheep, cheep-cheep! We laughed! Lord, how we laughed! Tom Rogers took a choking spell. Ed Bishop got so red in the face, I thought he was going to have a stroke. Frank McElrath beat on the counter with his fist. We laughed till tears rolled. Finally, you would have thought we were at a funeral. I see what you mean about cheap, Jess Tweed said, and sniffed. You couldn't tell if Jess was laughing or crying. Ed Bishop took off his glasses, pulled out his red handkerchief, and rubbed both lenses. He said, I see what you mean, too-and wished I didn't. Tom Rogers just sat there shaking his head. Autobiography Never had no scooters, tricycle or bike, but started with cars young, illegal in fact. I keep all these cars around, behind the house here, up by the road on their sides held up by cedar poles (were saplings when I was). In that '52 Fairland convertible there, O Lord, on those hot summer nights I strayed, parked by the church on Flat Creek. That Nash Metropolitan, first car I ever owned. Bought it secondhand , though it was dirtcheap new. Get what you pay for, but it got me from here to there. Paid cash for this Plymouth Valiant four door station wagon when Leona got in the family way and, what the hell, we made it official. Lasted more than 120,000 miles too. Before it died bought me this used Corvette for my second youth. Fixed it up like new. But now Leona has this rich uncle outside of Cincinnati, wants me to trade it to him for some hand-me-down Caddy Leona craves. At first, hated the idea. But if he throws some real money into the bargain I might do it. See, I saw this nice Harley for sale over near Waddy the other day. May try that. Need something to sort of keep the juices going . . . -Jonathan Greene 36 ...