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One voice client, a math professor from Queens who often speaks at academic conferences around the country, was dismayed, early in her career, to find that people often thought her New York accent was a joke. "I think it's hard to be taken seriously if you sound like you're from New York," she said. At one meeting, she told the Times reporter, she and a colleague encountered such merciless teasing that they simply abandoned their serious approach, put baseball caps on backward, and made fun of themselves. The assembled professors loved it. Recently, however, she reaped a notable reward for her attendance at therapy sessions. On returning from a two-week conference in Washington, she reported triumphantly that "nobody asked me if I was from New York." The professor's story suggests one kind of counterattack Ms. Mandrell might make on her Eastern long-distance callers. Whenever they yell at her or start "afunnin'," she could simply express her regret that they aren't actually in her store so that she could hospitably offer them "a cuppa kowafee" or, at least, "a glazza watta." But first, probably, she will want to make sure that a caller can take it as well as dish it out. Jessica's Boyfriend Even though Jessica was beautiful and from the hills of Eastern Kentucky, the admissions committee included Appalachian in cultural diversity, and let her into law school in Ohio. Justin was anti-school, but Jessica had other attributes. Justin was so enamoured of Jessica that he took a bath before going to see her. Jessica had three cats with kittens and a dog. To Justin, Jessica had everything a boy could want. Justin was six, but the age difference didn't matter to him. When Justin bragged his girl-friend was real smart, the principal didn't believe him. After all, a mountain hollow kid is influenced by the people he is around-his role models, not some mythical girlfriend, or an uncle who writes. —Walter Lane 18 ...

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