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226 THERESA MALPHRUS WELFORD Like a Wide River —for Mark Here is the deepest secret nobody knows: My love has two lives, in order to love you: That’s why I love you when I do not love you, And also why I love you when I do. I stand with you braced against the wind. Close your dreams, Love, enter my eyes with your skies, Spread out through my blood like a wide river. I don’t know who it is who lives or dies, who rests or wakes, But it is your heart that distributes All the graces of the daybreak, in my breast. I carry you with me everywhere. And now you’re mine. Rest with your dream in my dream. We will go together, over the waters of time. No one else will travel through the shadows with me, Only you, evergreen, ever sun, ever moon. 227 I feel I’ve always been here; that, even then, Years ago, until I understood, Love: I was standing where I stand now, Emptied of longing, waiting for you, my dark familiar clay. My life, which I gave to you, fills With years like a swelling cluster of fruit. When I die, I want your hands on my eyes: I want what I love to continue to live: I shall but love thee better after death. I could kneel and praise all small forgotten miracles, my place, a land of kisses and volcanoes, a landscape short of rain, bare against the sky, my heart’s future: It is poured out like water, it is melted like wax. ...

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