Daddy: Daddy

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107 7 ne week later, Dad came into my office, looking very excited. “Son,” he said, “I have just had a swell idea. We are going to be rich.” “You are not badly off already,” I replied. “Anyway, what is this swell idea that is expected to open the flood gates of this huge cash deposit?” “I intend to go into consultancy,” Dad said. “But you are supposed to be retired from active duty and should be enjoying a well-deserved rest,” I said. “Why would you want to give this up and go slaving for more money?” “You don’t understand, son,” he replied. “I am not going to work for anybody. I will run my own consultancy and charge very high fees.” “Who is prepared to pay high fees for your ideas?” I asked. “I have never known you to be a best-seller when it comes to ideas and advice.” “That is where you know very little about your old man,” he said. “I don’t have big brains for nothing. You should be lucky that I was generous enough to pass some of it on to you or you would never have been this wonderful as a marketing expert.” “I take it back, Dad,” I said. “How do you propose to make this fabulous fortune?” “Let’s start with my clients,” he said. “They are all very rich, or at least well-to-do.” “How did you identify them?” I asked, interested “They are all around,” Dad said. “I am talking about my friends and acquaintances.” O 108 “And how do you propose to coerce them into becoming clients to your scheme?” I asked. “It is quite easy, son,” Dad said. “You remember the reception party when I was getting married again to your mother?” “Who could forget it?” I said. “It was quite hectic. The groom’s speech, the food, and most of all the booze.” “Forget about those,” Dad said. “I am talking more about the guests. If you were keen enough to notice anything else apart from the drinks and beautiful women, you would have realized that half the hall was occupied by rich old fellows who have a lot more than they deserve or need.” “And what has that got to do with your consultancy?” I asked. “Open your eyes, son,” Dad said impatiently. “At times I wonder whether you are that clever. These rich old blokes are either married or are widowers. What has actually stirred me into recognizing the fact that I am a genius and a top expert in remarriage issues is the many calls I have already received. Many of them also want to remarry and would need expert advice on how to do it properly. From some of the calls, I could guess that they would even want me to prepare their speech for the occasion. “That is wonderful, Dad” I said. “Son, I am not dealing with poor entrepreneurs and struggling young chaps who are expecting to make it and need expert advice from a consultant. I am rather dealing with a crowd that has money and are prepared to dish it out to a resourceful consultant like myself on the least provocation.” “Some of these rich old men stick to their wallets as if their whole lives depended on it,” I told Dad. 109 “Maybe,” he said. “But if rub the right way the wallets generally spring open. Besides, many old men may be tightfisted but when they need anything for themselves urgently, they pay for it.” “You are an old man and you know the eccentricities of your peers better than I,” I said. “You will get to be my age someday and will realize that life is sweetest at this age, especially when you can do your own things instead of relying on sons to do them.” “Hey, Dad,” I said. “Don’t take it badly. Well, if you prefer, I will rather call you a young man.” “That is even worse,” Dad said. “It is rather old women who feel flattered when you mention that they look young even though they are actually aware of their real age.” “Okay, Dad,” I said. “You want to become a consultant, open a big office full of pretty young secretaries, and advertise all over the place?’ “Don’t make it look as if I am opening a brothel,” Dad said. “Why would I...