Junkyard Blues

Chapter Fifty-nine

249 C Chapter Fifty-nine e slowly got up to his feet, but another wave of nausea sent him back on his knee. He opened his mouth this time waiting for the retching to start but nothing came, just that foul smell of whisky spilling out in thick vapors from his parted lips. When is this going to stop? He slowly got to his feet again supporting himself on his knees. His head was like a cramped room, hurting mercilessly and feeling like it was double its original size. He shut his eyes and waited for another wave of nausea to come, but this time it did not come. Closing his eyes felt good, it felt like he was going to sleep, like he was in his own dark world where nothing matter. But he knew that was a lie, a lie that only wanted to prevent him from facing his ordeal. Nothing could go away until he made it to, that was the rule in this world. So, slipping into that darkness was not an option here. He slowly opened his eyes and straightened his back feeling his shirt stuck to his back. It was soaked completely and felt suddenly wet as it touched his back. The rain was still seeping down from that dark blanket of a cloud overhead and it was not going to stop anytime soon. But the rain was not going to stop him; he had to make that call. He had to… He felt another wave of nausea, but this one disappeared somewhere in his stomach. He stopped walking and waited for the big one to come, but it did not come. God was finally on his side, he thought, God wanted him to be on his way without that nausea and vomiting that was already hurting his ribs. But how could God want such a thing for him? It was darkness, a bottomless pit which had an evil smell around it. So, how could God want him to succeed in such a thing? Something that was all against what His word said? Something that had no comprehension whatsoever? A carnal act that was out of this world? Because it’s His wish! It had been His wish all along, His wish and nobody else’s. He had planned it all along and He wanted to see him complete his journey down that path He had created for him. It was Him all along, Him who had made it H 250 possible for him to come to live in this country, Him who had made it possible for him to have a father who was almost just a replica of nothing, his father who was just like God himself, blind to every human wish apart from his self amusement. It was God who had brought him in this world in a poor family, God who had brought Eric, God who had led him to James and his sweet promises. It was all His wish, and all he was doing was trying to make that wish possible. Jude smiled, and then the smile turned into a laugh, a hearty laugh that had his chest hurting. The laughter felt good to him, so he grabbed his hurting chest and laughed some more looking up at the sky. All he needed was to make one phone call, just one and His wish will be fulfilled. “I love you,” he whispered to the dark heavens, the drizzling rain landing on his face as he stared up there at the invisible mighty being that controlled his poor miserable life. ...