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6. Love in the time of mobility: Careful appropriations and courtship negotiations
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6 Love in the time of mobility: Careful appropriations and courtship negotiations Bahar to Randa, and Randa to Bahar: (6) a Ύϳ ΕϭϭϭϮϣ ϚΒΤΑ ..... ΓέϮΘδϣ ΎϬϴϠΧ .. βΑϭ ϮΒϴΒΣ baHibbik muuuut ya ….. khalliiha mastuura Habiibu u bas ‘I love you to death my ….. leave it as a secret my lover and that’s it’ b ΐϴΒΣ ϕΪλϭ ϞϤΟ Ύϳ ΕϭϭϭϮϣ ϚΒΤΑ ... Ϛϴϓ ΕϭϭϮϤΑ baHibbak muuuut ya ajmal wa aSdag Habiib ….bamuuut fiik ‘I love you to death you most beautiful and faithful lover ….. I die for you’ The exchange between Randa and Bahar above is a blatant example of the way that young people in Sudan are defying the Islamic moral Discourse on unmarried people and the prescribed rules of courtship with the privacy afforded by the mobile phone. Randa provided these examples to me, but did not return for an interview. I was able to glean that they were the only two messages in her phone, and were doomed to deletion shortly thereafter for fear of being found by someone . She does not save messages for the reason that her parents “would kill her” if they found such messages. I now turn to another young woman, with whom I spent a lot of time, and whose story and openness can better relate the changing nature of courtship and the role of mobile communication. Leila’s story I first met Leila Hamad, who was to be my host sister, in the street outside her house in Amarat. She came out to guide me to her house wearing a black ‘abaya ‘cloak’ and black tarHa ‘scarf’. The ‘abaya is a floor length overgarment covering the whole body except the face, feet and hands. It is the standard form of traditional Islamic dress in the Arabian peninsula and wearing it is even legally Love in the time of mobility 107 enforced in Saudi Arabia. In Sudan, this style of dress is not the norm although it is increasingly common, and associated with a new type of Islamic religiosity among young women. Although I found Leila’s cloak intimidating, her social demeanor and chatty manner made her very approachable, and as she led me into the house, directly to the girls’ bedroom, she instantly threw off her ‘abaya and tarHa revealing jeans and a t-shirt, and hair in disarray; I felt at ease. Leila apologized for not being able to eat with me that day as she was leaving on a work trip to Dubai and would be back the next day. She works for Sudan Airways as a flight attendant. With a salary of 500 US Dollars a month, at age 26, is the main source of income for her family. Her father used to work in the airline industry in Saudi Arabia, but is ill now and retired and her mother also does not work as she has diabetes. Leila is the second of three daughters. The eldest, Ashwag, is recently married, and the youngest, Sara, works at a shipping company. They have four younger brothers, with whom I barely interacted as they occupied the male half of the house, and whose names I never properly memorized. In addition to her part-time job, Leila is also a student at the University of Khartoum’s Faculty of Agriculture, starting a Master’s in Agricultural Science and therefore was quite busy. When she wasn’t out visiting friends or running errands almost all of her time was spent in the girls’ bedroom watching TV, talking with her mother and sisters or talking on the phone. Neither she nor the other women did very much domestic labour; most of the washing and cleaning was done by an Ethiopian woman who was paid to come twice a week. The family was in a better position financially in the past, and was able to employ a permanent housekeeper, but with the parents’ illnesses, the quality of life they used to enjoy was no longer possible. The family had a car, but it was permanently broken, and the family could not afford to repair it. Leila was designated as my personal companion and much of my time was spent talking with her or accompanying her on an errand. She socializes with a diverse group of friends, many of whom are boys with whom she has no romantic aspirations. They often meet for coffee or ice cream in a café or park, or, with the girls, spend an afternoon shopping or visiting at home. Leila spent a lot of time thinking about her future, and she sought my advice on this topic...