No Trifling Matter: Contributions of an Uncompromising Critic to the Democratic Process in Cameroon

47 This Celebration Mania

134 Assembly the way Pa Muna is doing, because he is still a parliamentarian. That is not fair, but it is the direct consequence of his own spinelessness. Over the years, the dictatorship has reserved the harmless position of “President of the National Assembly” for Anglophones. But now that the advent of multipartyism, if not democracy, is likely to transform that post into a position of real power, the Biya regime, in its Machiavellian political wisdom, has moved fast to take over that position. By reinstating the post of Secretary General at the Presidency, the post of Prime Minister has been effectively castrated and rendered impotent. Now an Anglophone can safely be moved there. This creates the illusion that Anglophones are at last about to start sharing power at the centre. The regime and its French mentors certainly have mastered their game. But we are not deceived. We are anxiously awaiting the Municipal and Presidential elections, and we predict that the regime will develop cold feet and find excuses for postponing them. Whatever the case, the struggle intensifies and continues on all fronts. 4 47 This Celebration Mania (Published April 23-30, 1992) A contemporary Ghanaian philosopher once remarked that there are three deadly diseases that can afflict any society, namely, anachronism, authoritarianism and superstition. Today, Cameroon society is suffering from all three ailments and one of the best ways to realise this is to reflect on our mania for celebrations of all types. This mania is not, of course, unique to Cameroon. It is an African disease. Quite recently, the father of some fairly well-to-do Nigerian, died at the ripe old age of 97. The fellow wept uncontrollably, dashing himself several times unto the ground in his apparent distress. When some sympathiser tried to restrain him by encouraging him to bear his loss like a man and tried to reason with him that 135 death at such a ripe old age calls more for celebration than anything else, the man retorted through his tears: “Exactly! It’s not for him I’m crying. But where will I get the money to bury him!?” In both Nigeria and Ghana today, if a close relation of a man dies, then, unless he happens to be very rich, he is surely in for very hard financial times. He would have to borrow very respectable sums of money and also spend several days to organize the burial ceremony. And after the burial, there are other ceremonies such as the “Memorial” and the “Second Burial” to look forward to. This state of affairs has led to a situation in these countries where a dead person is sometimes left in the mortuary freezer for nearly a whole year, while the family “prepares’ for burial. Nor is this scenario limited to death and burial. A very similar thing happens in the case of weddings, births, promotions, appointments etc. These events have become the occasions for unbelievable squandermania. If this were limited to the rich it might be okay, but the truth is that the social pressures on everyone to do likewise are almost un-defy-able. Cameroon is a late starter on this irrational and ruinous path; but, from all indications, it will soon overtake both Ghana and Nigeria. For quite some time now, this trend had caught my critical attention and I have all along had it in mind to comment on it, as you would realize if you check “NO TRIFLING MATER” of Wednesday, March 6-13, 1991. So this present piece is partly the fulfilment of a promise. You can bear me out that I always fulfil my promises unlike some people, like Bi Mvondo, whose empty basket, full of promises, has become an object of irritation and embarrassment to all of us. The recent ministerial appointments are what have forced me to pick this issue of our celebration mania from the shelves of my memory. It has been simply scandalous to watch the intensity and feverish excitement that has accompanied these celebrations. For about five days, following these appointments, it has been continuous dancing, eating and drinking in the houses of those appointed or reappointed ministers. And the crowds! For people like yours truly who consider the Biya regime as a surely sinking ship, it is very hard to understand this particular aspect of the behaviour of Cameroonians. Why would anyone be so excited about being 136 appointed...