No Trifling Matter: Contributions of an Uncompromising Critic to the Democratic Process in Cameroon

Table of Contents

iii Table of Contents Foreword………………………………………………………...vii Preface………………………………………………………….. xi 1. An Open Letter to Pa Foncha.................................................... 1 2. Begging the Question.................................................................. 5 3. Mondiale 90 and the Success of Success..................................... 8 4. Those Billions in Foreign Banks.................................................... 12 5. I Doff My Hat to Mr. President.................................................. 15 6. The Day I Ate Fried Corn With the Cardinal................................ 18 7. What Do University Students Really Want?............................... 21 8. The Two Faces of Mongo Beti.................................................... 23 9. Now That the Opposition Is Really Here.................................... 27 10. Is Mr. Paul Out of Touch or What?........................................... 31 11. The Past Tense of Shit............................................................. 34 12. The Question Eric Did Not or Could Not Ask...........................37 13. Mitterand Must Be Mediocre Teacher......................................... 40 14. Tribalism..................................................................................... 43 15. The Foxes of Loo..................................................................... 47 16. Jean Zoa’s Conceptual Problems.............................................. 50 17. The New Universities................................................................. 53 18. Memo to the Endeley Commission............................................ 58 19. Where We Went Wrong............................................................ 61 20. Gobata on Gobata................................................................... 64 21. From “La Democratie” To Democracy..................................... 68 22. Nigeria-Cameroon: No Problem?............................................... 71 23. Anti-Democracy Fails In Russia, Succeeds In Cameroon..........74 24. To Hell with Culture................................................................ 76 25. What Will He Say At Limbe And Bamenda?............................. 76 26. Me Voici A Douala.................................................................. 79 27. A Basket Full of …. Promises........................................................ 82 28. The Does of Africa................................................................... 85 29. The Exorcist............................................................................ 87 30. Beyond Elitism (Including A Reply To Tande Dibussi).............90 iv 31. Professor Obenson Was Right................................................. 93 32. From the Fruits We Shall Know............................................... 95 33. Democracy, Kakitocracy and Meritocracy............................... 98 34. The Pre-Conditions of Meritocracy............................................ 100 35. Meritocacy Continued............................................................... 104 36. The Panel Beaters of the Biya Regime....................................... 107 37. Blue Print for University Studies................................................ 110 38. Blue Print for University Studie (2)............................................. 113 39. Biya Plays His Last Joker.......................................................... 114 40. Our Beautiful Ones Are Not Yet Born....................................... 116 41. Basically a Fraudulent Victory................................................... 118 42. Shall They Make or Mar?........................................................... 120 43. Two Types of Cameroonians........................................................ 123 44. The Missing Links in Nfor Gwei’s Programmes......................... 126 45. The Anglophone Problem......................................................... 129 46. A Ceremonial P.M. As We Totter Along................................... 132 47. This Celebration Mania.............................................................. 134 48. We Will Dedicate a Toilet to His Memory............................... 137 49. Misconceptions of Federalism................................................. 140 50. CAMBANK Is Still Owing Me..................................................... 143 51. Albert Mukong, Federalism and the SDF.................................. 145 52. Salomon Nfor Ngwei’s Tribulations......................................... 148 53. Wanyetoh Resurfaces................................................................. 151 54. Mbella Was Right and Wrong...................................................... 154 55. Cherchez Le Mot (For My Censors)………………………… 157 56. From Extreme To Extreme.............................................................160 57. A Tale of Three Parliamentarians............................................ 162 58. Of the General Born On Banana Leaves 55 Years Ago........... 165 59. Meditation on Death............................................................... 167 60. Keeping Yaounde Clean......................................................... 170 61. Matters Arising From the CELLUCAM Affair........................ 172 62. Government by Trial And Error, Bribery, Corruption and Manipulation.................................................................................. 175 63. Critical Moments of Decision................................................... 179 64. How the Opposition Can Proceed............................................. 181 65. Very Fraudulent Procedures................................................... 184 66. Ben Muna’s Abortive Bid........................................................ 186 v 67. The Comedians on Our Political Stage...................................... 189 68. As the Countdown to Zero Hour Begins................................... 192 69. God Has Not Yet Cast His Own Vote.................................... 195 70. Under the Magnetic Spell of the Bookseller.............................. 198 71. Let’s Avoid Mass Hysteria And Do It Again........................... 200 72. Remember Nelson..................................................................... 203 73. There Can Never Be Peace without Justice............................. 206 74. What Of Our So-Called Human Rights Commission?............. 209 75. The Preconditions of Reconciliatory Dialogue........................ 212 76. Punishing the Innocent, Rewarding Criminals.......................... 215 vi ...