The Tragedy of Mr No Balance

Scene III

11 Scene III It is morning and we are back at M Mr. No-Balance's house. N No-Balance has three appointments to keep. He comes in not yet fully dressed brushing his teeth with a “chewing stick.” He looks at his watch, stops brushing his teeth, and calls out to M Mbarama. No-Balance: Mbarama, darling! Tomato! Mbarama (Walking in): Yes, what's the matter? No-Balance: Why put on such a long face today? Please cheer up, for it’s today that we'll reap the fruits of our labour. Now, those applicants will come in with some gifts for us. You stay behind the house or in the room. I’ll direct them to you as they come in. Get whatever they give you, write the amount or nature of gifts against their names on this paper, (handing her a sheet of paper of a very conspicuous colour). It is from the gift that I'll determine my future office boy. Lest I forget, Bih looks a sure employee. Nevertheless, let's watch the intensity of the competition. It's now 10.00 a.m. and here comes the first one, Tim. (Mbarama hurries out to take up her place as T Tim knocks and enters with a container of water, which he places in a corner of the room unnoticed by N NoBalance .) Tim: Good morning, sir. I’ve come as promised. No-Balance: You're right on time. Tim: Sir, you know that punctuality is the soul of business. No-Balance (waiving it): Now, follow my wife and show her your kindness. (As Tim goes out, he takes the container of water still unnoticed by N No-Balance. There is a scream from the next room and M Mbarama enters in a fury, completely soaked.) No-Balance: What is this that you're sweating so much when we're now on business? Mbarama (slaps N No-Balance on the cheek): Is this the comfort or plan you have for me? You negotiate with people to come and bathe me in my dress in your house? (Tim enters with the container, now empty.) 12 No-Balance (confused): Tim, is this how you exhibit your ability or your kindness? Do you know that I can now charge you with assault on my wife? Tim (apologetically): My lips cannot express the sorrow in my heart; do not punish me for the mistake and I'll show much diligence at work. No-Balance (looking at his watch):Oh! Get out. I'm expecting an august guest. And look here, you may turn up for the test tomorrow if you wish, but you've already baptized yourself with an incredible degree of failure. Thank you. (Tim goes out. N No-Balance turns to M Mbarama) Darling, take it easy and resume your place for here comes another. (Jack enters. He is carrying a bag over his shoulders in which are bottles of oils. He has his shirt carelessly thrown on his body.) Jack (panting): Sir, what's the time? Am … Am … Am I late? I was doing some laundry when I immediately recollected my appointment of oiling your lips. Then, I jumped out and made for here at Apollo-like speed; lest I be late and forfeit that post with an … No-Balance: Unbelievably attractive salary. Cool down my boy. There’s no need worrying. You're just some odd seconds ahead of time Jack (looking for a seat): Really!! I thought I was late. Weh! God's really with me. This job, naturally, is mine. No-Balance: Now, see my wife there in the room and show her your kindness. Jack (he is just going out, but recollects and returns): But what of the oils? I've here all types of oils needed by a prospective manager. Here you have: (produces the bottles of oils one by one and places each on the table as he names them) palm oil, groundnut oil, shampoo oil, rubbing oil, engine oil and... No-Balance (cutting in angrily): O.K. O.K. O Lord, I’m doomed to fresh disappointment. Jack (anxiously): Which of the oils do you wish me to start oiling your lips with? No-Balance: Just see my wife. Jack (confused): I thought I saw your wife go out as I came in, or should I commence the oiling on her? No, she was wet; you want me ascertain for you if [3.138.34.158] Project MUSE (2024...