Born to Rule

8. Policies in Some Key Sectors

41 Born to Rule: Autobiography of a Life President 8 Policies in Some Key Sectors A t a time when our raw materials are no longer fetching us mush foreign exchange, my government has decided to revamp the various sectors of the economy by taking some very painful and drastic decisions. We are not unmindful of the sacrifices made by our people in these had times, but we appeal to them to bear with us and cooperate with the government in its struggle to relieve the nation of the harsh effects of the economic crisis. Economic planning It must be admitted that Mr. Achiri Munoh Nyanga, my minister of economic planning and development plans, who the Tubabs would have preferred that I second to the International Lenders Association, it must be admitted, was ahead of his time. He had the foresight years ago to introduce our own currency so we could mint our own money at will instead of tying our Kapa to the apron strings of some foreign currency. We had been subjugated for too long to the harsh monetary policies of the Tubab government because we were using their money. By introducing the Mandzah Kapa, we were able to control our currency and to print any amount we needed at any time. As a result, a lot of money is floating in the country. Our economists are divided over the merits and demerits of having our own currency. We think the argument is purely academic because we have benefited more from having our own currency than if we did not have it. The government, for example, has refused to go broke or to declare bankruptcy. People point to the shortage of foreign exchange and our thriving black market and lay the blame at the door of our local currency. We inthegovernmentseetheproblemdifferently.Wedonotseeanything wrong with having our own currency because we are then able to usethelittleforeignexchangethatexistscarefully,distributingittokey 42 Tah Asongwed sectors of the economy through political friends. For those who have some knowledge of economics, it is to be expected that because we have our own currency, foreign currency may be hard to come by especially as our cash crops can no longer fetch us much hard currency. These are the hard facts of life and I have appealed to my people to live with them. The little hard currency that we manage to earn from the few tourists that visit our country and from the mortgage we earn on the country in the form of underdevelopment aid and assistance is used very sparingly. This government is very concerned about our country’s future. Accordingly, when a little foreign currency trickles into the country, it is immediately repatriated for safe keeping in our personal national bank account abroad. From time to time some of it is used to undertake priority development programs. For example, to pay for the President’s official and private trips, to purchase castles and homes abroad, to bribe foreign journalists, foreign politicians and lobbyists, opposition leaders, the church, etc. The relative stability of my government and the peace we enjoy in Mandzah is proof that the development objectives we set for ourselves when we achieved independence are being achieved. Another wise decision that Nyanga took was to raise taxes. We are not like the Tubabs for whom taxes are an economic and political scarecrow or albatross. Our people understand that in order for government to provide all the services that the people need, there must be money in government’s coffers. Money, unhappily for most of us, does not grow on trees. Where on this African continent do people live as luxuriously as those of us in Mandzah? All our ministers drive around in the best imported luxury cars, and we provide them with generous salaries and fringe benefits – free house, electricity, water, unlimited telephone calls anywhere in the world, car for madam, car for the children, car for shopping. All former members of parliament too have generous salaries for life as a sign of gratitude to them for their contribution to the underdevelopment of this country and for their accepting to be disbanded so I can rule without reporting to anybody. They still maintain their parliamentary privileges and immunities and live in furnished government quarters. 43 Born to Rule: Autobiography of a Life President Our ambassadors abroad, being my personal representatives, have been authorized to spend as much as they want to...