Grassfields Stories from Cameroon

4. Charlatan

28 4Charlatan n the Sparely populated village of Nsei, subsistence farming is the mainstay of the villagers. Maize cultivation takes place twice a year. When the planting season is over, parents usually entrust the care of the farms to their teenage children who look after the crops by weeding invading plants, scaring off grain-eating birds and constructing scarecrows to keep rodents and other pests at a distance. Children look forward to this season because it is the only time of the year when they are left on their own, away from the watchful eyes of parents. During downtime they indulge in their favorite pastime: storytelling . On one occasion, three boys tending crops in the same vicinity decided to while away time by telling their favorite tales. Hassan, Omar, and Mamadu aged 14, 13 and 12 lived in the same neighbourhood called, Ngualang. “Once upon a time, a man named Doctor Cow lived in this village”, Hassan started his tale. “Yeehee! Yeehee! The other boys laughed provocatively.” “Why are you laughing?“ Hassan asked, rubbing his shell-like ears in feigned anger. “Doctor Cow! What sort of name is that?” Mamadu asked, wiping tears from his bloodshot eyes. “Don’t laugh buddies. This name has a long story behind it. Let me tell you,” Hassan said. “What’s the story? Tell us,” Omar said, placing his bony arms on his friend’s bare chest. “The man’s real name was Tanko,” Hassan said. I 29 “Reeaally! Why did he change his name?” Omar asked. “He did not change his name. Be patient! Don’t be like the impatient hen who tried to hatch its eggs before they were ready,” Hassan said. “Well then, Mr. Proverbs, tell us the story,” Omar said, suppressing a laugh. “Tanko was the son of a poor farmer, “Hassan continued. “Just like us!” Mamadu chipped in. “Yes, like us but Tanko was extremely intelligent,” Hassan said. “Is that why he was called Doctor Cow?” Omar asked. “Ah, no! Give me a chance!” Hassan said, pulling at his curly hair. “Go ahead, Hassan,” Mamadu urged. “After completing high school, Tanko was awarded a scholarship to study in the white man’s country,” Hassan said. “Waah! Waah! Tanko was lucky,” Hassan’s friends said at the same time. “No, my papa said that it was not luck. He said Tanko’s father went to a ngambexlix man and got some maganl which helped him get the scholarship,” Hassan said. “My papa always tells me that heavens help those who help themselves,” Omar said. “Maybe that’s true,” Hassan said. “What part of the white man’s land did Tanko go to?” Mamadu asked. “England!” Hassan said. “Wuulee! Wuulee! England? My papa said that England is so far that it would take weeks upon weeks flying in the air like a bird to get there,” Mamadu said. 30 “Yap, my papa said it would take two moons travelling nonstop in the white man’s iron kite to get there,” Hassan said. “So Tanko travelled to England all by himself?” Omar asked. “Yes. In spite of his father’s protest Tanko travelled to England where he spent many years reading books at university,” Hassan said. “Why was his father protesting?” Mamadu asked. “He was scared,” Hassan said. “Scared of what?” Omar asked. “Tanko’s papa was afraid that his son may one day marry a white woman and bring shame upon his family,” Hassan said. “Bring shame upon his family? Why?” Omar asked. “Tanko’s papa said he had heard that white women don’t stay long in marriage,” Hassan said. “What did Tanko study when he arrived in England? Mamadu asked. “Good question!” Omar shouted. “Tell us what he studied in England. Mamadu said. “My mama said that he studied vet medicine,” Hassan said. “What is vet medicine?” Omar asked. “I don’t know exactly what it is but uncle Sani who is a biology teacher, told me that a vet doctor looks after animals,” Hassan said. “What does he mean? Does he mean that a vet doctor treats animals?” Omar asked, closing his cross eyes. “Yes, that’s what uncle Sani said. He said a vet doctor treats all kinds of animals: cows, dogs, crocodiles, chimpanzees, baboons, cats, swine, goats, sheep, horses, camels and lizards,” Hassan said. “Even toads and frogs too?” Mamadu asked. “Oh yes!” Hassan said. 31 “That’s interesting!” Omar said, shrugging his broad...