Dialogue

Chapter 16

16 When there is nothing else to believe in, one sometimes turns to spiritual beings for help. “I want to go to Shang Tian Zhu Temple to burn incense.” I had rung my friend Wu Ling after midnight. She mumbled: “Do you have go now? It’s very late.” “I really want very much to go now.” “All right!” She asked no further questions. Shortly after, her car arrived downstairs. “Get in then.” We exchanged glances. The car sped south along Nanshan Road, she put on a CD, and music began to play, slowly bringing with it sadness. A pall of gloom silted up my heart. I opened the car window, to let the breeze scatter the grogginess in my body. “Which way do you want to go?” “Meijiawu.” “You’re all right, are you?” Wu Ling was looking at me in a concerned way, but asked no more questions. She increased the speed, increased the volume of the music, and the two of us began to talk in loud voices on the way to Shang Tian Zhu. Night: it was so still. Sensing the approach of the unknown, we arrived at Shang Tian Zhu. Wu Ling said to me lazily: “Let me have a snooze. You go and burn incense, I’ll wait for you in the car.” There was nobody in the spacious temple. The main hall was firmly locked for the night, but through a lattice-work window, I could see the Buddha image inside. At the door of the main hall a paper notice read: “Please offer incense here.” Two oil lamps for lighting incense stood in front of the temple, like a pair of flashing haloes. I lit a handful of incense, and with both hands joined approached the entrance of the Guanshiyin temple and kneeled on both knees on the steps outside. I raised my face and looked at the starry sky overhead. Tears streamed down from the corners of my eyes: “Infinitely Dialogue 174 Merciful Bodhisattva Guanshiyin, save me!” I said these words silently in my heart and both hands began to tremble. Only a week earlier Lan Jun’s attitude had been quite good when he rang from Beijing and asked me to buy him a return air ticket to Hangzhou. How was it possible that now he had returned to Hangzhou, there was no sign of him. He didn’t answer his mobile phone. He was simply a different person, rude and arbitrary. I was completely in the dark now. “Why?” I asked Wu Ling. “Don’t ask me why, go and ask him.” A few days ago, Wu Ling drove me to Lan Jun’s studio at the factory. It was just before dawn when Wu Ling and I arrived at a small lane. “It’s too late. The factory gate’s closed. The gatekeeper will be asleep surely.” I was hesitating. “It doesn’t matter how late it is, we have to get a clear answer to this. You can’t let yourself be stuffed around by him in this muddle-headed way!” We got to the factory entrance and were looking at the high gate. “Let’s go back! We’ll try again tomorrow.” “No way. It was hard enough getting you here, we’re not going to leave just like that. Let me think of something.” Suddenly, Wu Ling leapt at the high iron gate and clambered up, rolled over the top and jumped down on the inside. I heard the gatekeeper’s voice cursing someone loudly, rattling on non-stop. He must have taken Wu Ling for a thief. I hastened to announce my name in a loud voice to avoid any misunderstanding. He opened the gate a crack’s width and only let me enter when he had seen my face clearly. “You young ladies are very wild. What are you up to, climbing over gates in the dead of night?” Despite a series of apologetic “sorry!”’s, we were a pair of triumphant victors. Having no doubt heard us, Lan Jun opened the door of the studio. Wu Ling gave me a wink: “You go in. I’ll wait for you outside.” I hadn’t been there for a long time. There was a heavy smell of ink mingled with the smell of tobacco, and the floor was strewn with wine bottles. The room was a total mess. Ink paintings hung on the walls. The table was littered with cigarette butts, and books were...