Death, Dying and Bereavement: A Hong Kong Chinese Experience

Preface

Preface฀ "When฀day s฀cannot฀b e฀added฀to฀life ,฀add฀lif e฀to฀days."฀ (Motto฀of฀the฀Society฀for฀the฀Promotio n฀of฀Hospice฀Care฀in฀Hong฀Kong).฀ Both o f us have a passion fo r helpin g peopl e who ar e grieving , because w e are terrified b y the thought of the death o f our loved ones. Through decade s of serving patients confronting death , we have learnt so much, both from the m and fro m thei r family members . Now, we are willing to accept the notio n o f "why not me? " and probabl y will not b e stuc k in th e stat e o f "wh y me?" fo r too long. As we serve patients living with a life-threatening illness , we want to help the m t o reach a state of bliss and acceptanc e o f death . Through ou r journey o f service and education , we are impressed b y the large numbe r o f professional s wh o ar e completel y dedicate d t o helpin g patients in the dying and bereavement process. As a result of the contact with the IWG (Internationa l Work Group on Death, Dying and Bereavement), we realized tha t ther e i s a vast amount o f knowledge o n deat h an d dyin g tha t can be applie d t o our population. At the same time, there i s a lot of interes t in ho w traditional practices , Eastern philosophie s and cultur e affec t th e way that Chinese peopl e respon d t o death-related issues . The culturall y sensitiv e practices that we have developed in Hong Kong were found t o be relevant t o an internationa l audience . As Chines e hav e becom e on e o f th e larges t migran t group s i n contemporary society , health-car e professional s al l ove r th e worl d ar e interested i n understanding th e reactions of Chinese patients upon diagnosi s of an incurable illness and th e risk as well as protective factors affecting thei r adjustment t o the dyin g and bereavement process. The purpose o f this book is for health-care professionals to share the Chinese experience of death, dying and bereavement in Hong Kong. It is hoped tha t the experiential synthesis of the authors can serve to increase the relevance of culturally sensitive practices, locally and internationally . xvi Preface The proces s of editing this book was enlightening for us. The authors share d many touching stories of their personal and professiona l life , and it is a great privilege to read their work. The editing was enjoyable, and on many occasions we had tear s in ou r eye s while reading th e profoun d sharin g of experience s and persona l reflections . As a result of discussion on good death an d transformation throug h pain , we hope that death can be taken as a blessed ending to lifelong learning. With sadness, grief an d fon d memorie s o f th e decease d love d one , th e bereave d can commit themselves to living a meaningful life , to serve and nurture. Death, dying an d bereavemen t offe r th e mos t teachable moment s an d ar e beacon s for thos e los t in th e ocean o f life. After hearin g of our work, acquaintances often say , "It must be sad to work with peopl e wh o ar e dyin g an d bereaved" . I t i s tru e tha t ther e i s grief i n witnessing death, yet it is also the greatest privilege and honour t o be working with people i n their most precious moments at the end o f life. If we can hel p dying an d bereave d person s realiz e thei r dream s an d revie w their life , the y can proudly recognize their life contributions and the legacies they are leaving. There ca n be a great sense of peace, bliss and joy. Every encounter with deat h and bereavemen t i s a reminde r o f ou r ow n mortality . Ever y suicid e an d accidental deat h aler t us to...