The Changing Room: Selected poetry of Zhai Yongming

The Blind Masseur and Some of his Methods

76 盲人按摩师的几种方式 1 “请把手放下”，盲人俯身 推拿腰部，也像推拿石头 生活的腰多么空虚 引起疼痛 盲人一天又一天推拿按摩 推拿比石头还硬的腰部 2 “注意气候，气候改变一切，” 梅花针执在盲人之手 我尽力晃动头部：“这是什么 ?” 生命，是易碎的事物 还是骨头，骨节，骨密度 ? 梅花针扎在我的头部 3 “请敲骨椎第一节，那里疼痛” 盲人的手按下旋律的白键 “这声音怎么这样凄凉 ?” 我知道疼痛的原因 是生命的本质，与推拿无关 但推拿已进入和谐的境界 盲人一天又一天敲打 分享我骨头里的节奏 77 tHe BLInD MAsseUR AnD soMe oF HIs MetHoDs 1 “relax your hands,” the blind man leans over Kneading the small of my back, as if he were kneading stone the waist of life is so empty it hurts Day after day the blind man massages Kneading backs that are harder than stone 2 “Be mindful of the climate, climate changes everything,” Plum blossom needle held in the blind man’s hand i strain to move my head: “What is that?” is it life that’s fragile or is it bones, joints, and bone density? Plum blossom needles stab my head 3 “Please tap my first vertebra, it’s sore” the blind man’s hand plays out a melody on white keys “Why does it sound so sad?” i know where the pain comes from it’s the nature of life itself, and nothing to do with this massage But the massage has reached a state of harmony the blind man taps, day after day Sharing in the rhythms of my bones 78 4 “转过身去，调匀呼吸” 盲人的手按下旋律的黑键 暴风雨般的即兴弹奏 他空洞的眼里无怨无欲 甚至他的呼吸也极度平静 他的两手推拿世间的问题 盲人有盲人的方式 他思索下手的轻重缓急 与我们的方向一致 5 “请注意骶骨的变化”，他说 他的手指熟知全世界的穴位 他的手掌兼修中西两种功力 当他使劲，十根指头落下 贯注全身的一股深邃力量知道 一种痛苦已被摧毁 另一种痛苦来自肺腑 来自白色袍子的适当切入 以及我那怯懦的心跳 6 盲人一天又一天摸索 熟悉的事物，渐渐地 渐渐地达到澄明的高度 79 4 “turn over, breathe evenly” the blind man’s hands play a melody on black keys a stormy solo improvisation his vacant eyes are without complaint or desire even his breathing is unusually calm his hands massage the problems of the world the blind man works in a blind man’s ways he thinks about the lightness and speed of his touch as we face the same direction 5 “Pay attention to changes in your sacrum,” he says his fingers know the world’s accupressure points by heart his palms are practiced in eastern and Western ways When he applies force, ten fingers press down the profound strength of his whole body concentrated here and knowing one kind of pain has already been erased another kind of pain comes from deep in my heart From the suitable cut of the white gown and my tentative pulse 6 the blind man feels his way, day after day Familiar things, bit by bit Bit by bit achieving complete clarity 80 从一块坚硬的石头，或者 在空气中飞舞的跳动的尘埃 一男一女，两个盲人 看不见变易中的生死 看得见生死中的各种变易 7 一次，他拿出两个罐子 其中一个是空的，另一个也空 一滴水就从身体里慢慢溢出 但是他看不见，现在他抽掉 里面的空气，点燃酒精棉 他想要得到什么 ? 除了腰椎的十四个关节 还有骨头深处的阵阵寒意…… 8 响了一夜的孤寂之声 “现在好了，寒气已经散尽” 他收起罐子，万物皆有神力 那铿锵的滴水的音律 我知道和所有的骨头有关 一天又一天雨下个不停 盲人按摩师的手抓住的 是不是那石头般的内心恐惧 ? 81 From a rigid piece of stone, or a dust mote dancing in the air a man and a woman, both of them blind Unable to see Life and Death amidst all the changes able to see the transformations within Life and Death 7 once, he takes out a pair of jars the first of them empty, the other one empty as well a bead of water oozes slowly from my body But he can’t see it, and then he draws out the air inside, lights a piece of alcohol-soaked cotton What is he trying to achieve? apart from my fourteen lumbar vertebrae there are tremors of cold deep in my bones . . . 8 a lone voice “it’s better now, the cold energy has been dissipated” he puts away the jars, all of creation has extraordinary power i know the ringing tones of the water drop are linked to all of my bones Day after day, the rain falls incessantly What do the hands of the blind masseur grasp is it a stony and deep seated fear? 82 9 “这里怎样 ? 这里应该是 感官的触动，这条肌肉 和骨头之间有一种痛 能触动你的神经，压迫 你的手臂，毁灭你的黑夜 不要让风穿过你的身体 不要让恐惧改变你。” 10 如果能把痛楚化成 有形的东西，类似 抓住一把盐，洒在地上 类似端走一盆清水 从皮肤里，类似 擦掉苹果上的污迹 类似手指按下琴键 随即又轻轻地移开 11 手指间的舞蹈，很轻 指力却浑厚，生命中的 强弱之音此时都在 盲人坐着，细说记忆 那触手一摸，心灵的辨识 比眼睛的触摸更真实 83 9 “how does it feel right here? this spot should trigger your senses, between this strip of muscle and bone there is a tenderness that can touch your nerves, restrict Your arms, blot out your dark nights Don’t let any drafts penetrate your body Don’t let yourself be altered by fear.” 10 if pain could be transformed into something that had a shape, like grabbing a handful of salt, scattering it on the ground Like carrying away a basin of clear water From inside the skin, like Wiping dirt from an apple Like fingers striking the keys of a piano then moving lightly away 11 the dance between fingers, so light While the fingers’ strength is solid, the powerful and weak Sounds of Life are all here in this moment the blind man sits, sharing his memories When you touch something with your hands, what the spirit perceives is truer than what meets the eyes 84 大脑中反复重叠的事物 比看得见的一切更久长 12 尘世中的一大堆杂念 被你熔与黑暗一炉 终将打成整铁一片 当你想看，你就能看 最终达于静止的世界 日子年复一年，并不休息 盲人俯身，推拿 疼痛的中心，一天又一天 85 the accumulated things that fill your mind...