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TOGETHER AGAIN As a result of the relative consolidation that had taken place, and with international acceptance of the system, the party leaders felt by the early 1960s that their position in power had stabilised. Restrictions became less severe and those sensitive to the political mood sensed amnesty in the air. During the partial amnesties of 1959 and 1960, first those who had been sentenced to less than two years were released, followed by those who had been given sentences of less than six years. Others were able to return to their families having been granted an individual amnesty. The majority of those with long sentences were released during the amnesty that took place in 1963. However, over one hundred revolutionaries , mostly those who had been armed and who were classed as public criminals, were kept in prison for several more years. “WHEN WILL HE COME BACK?” We have seen how our interviewees preserve the sudden separation from their fathers as a painful memory, and also how the sentence exerted a decisive impact on their lives. It was therefore inevitable that the convicts’ families permanently focused on the question of release and that their fathers’ return occupied the minds of all the children. Those who were too young to be able to remember their fathers had to rely on what they were told by members of their families, on photographs, and on their own imaginations to build a picture of him. “There was a photograph of my father on the desk, but it only showed his face. And when my grandmother said that if daddy came home he would teach me to ride a bicycle and to swim I suddenly burst out crying: ‘How will he play with me when he hasn’t got any legs?’” (KRISZTINA LUKÁCH) Depending on the amount of information that was shared with them some children were aware of the possible time of their fathers’ release. If the issue was not discussed with them, they were left alone to face not only their fathers’ absence but the burden of an uncertain wait. “When we went on holiday I spent the whole time sitting on a tree waiting for my father. I became a past master at waiting. But no one could tell me when he would come back. Nor did they realise that they should have told me that we would be informed in advance when he was coming back. They should Together again have said something at least to stop me being permanently on the lookout for him.” (ZSUZSA MÉREI) Some of the children were so young at the time of the arrest that they barely knew their fathers at all. For them the waiting was tinged with apprehension . What would he be like? How would he behave towards them? “I remember being afraid when we talked about him coming home. I was apprehensive, partly because we got along so well at home, and partly because I had come across many bad fathers. Another reason was that in the end I had no idea what kind of person daddy was. Of course, mum always loved talking about him and it was clear that she loved him a great deal and wanted him home. But in reality I still didn’t know what kind of man he was. I was afraid that someone would somehow upset my world. Mum, for example, never smacked me. As far as I knew fathers smacked their children. I was afraid that a man would come who would start hitting me. But it soon turned out that he was a really nice bloke.” (PÉTER ZSÁMBOKI) Many were told of, or sensed, the approach of the long-awaited event, but after being disappointed several times they did not dare to believe the signs or what they were told, but only believed it when they saw it. “There was a noticeable change. The last half-year, when my mother began waiting for him to return, was certainly completely different. But we didn’t really want to believe it would happen. We told ourselves that they were just making promises, that it would just be empty words like before, that nothing would actually happen. We didn’t take it seriously and we didn’t believe it. We said that we would only believe it if dad himself knocked on the window.” (SAROLTA RIMÁN) “IT WAS HARD FOR DAD TO GET USED TO EVERYDAY LIFE” Only a few people...

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