The Art of Being Alone: Poems 1952–2009

Alone in Two Billion Light Years

45 Alone in Two Billion Light Years 二十億光年の孤独 (1952) Spring Along the cute suburban commuter line I see white contented homes pathways inviting for walks At a station in the middle of vegetable farms no one gets off or on Along the cute suburban commuter line however I also see the chimney of a nursing home Under the numerous clouds of a March sky the train slows down I trade my momentary fatalism for the scent of plum blossoms Along the cute suburban commuter line everything but Spring is off limits 46 Prayer One magnanimous affirmation originating from the tip of infinite time is still with us, yet we try to counter it with countless proposals (oh, homo sapiens, we are too arrogant, too arrogant) Haven’t we been acquiring knowledge to clarify the affirmation? Have we not been carrying on to rejoice in the affirmation? My immature mind (a mere rivet in an elaborate half-broken machine) trusts only prayer now (offered by the infinitesimal to the infinite in the universe) I will pray before I sleep that people’s prayers be fortified that people feel the earth’s loneliness as their own (every location is a point on earth every one of us is a human) I will pray, bearing loneliness One magnanimous affirmation originating from the tip of infinite time is still with us, and one small prayer feeble yet resolved to be burning on in dark gigantic time flames up, now 二十億光年の孤独 • 1952 Alone in Two Billion Light Years 47 Alone inTwo Billion Light Years On this small sphere humans sleep, wake, work from time to time want friends on Mars I don’t know what Martians do on their small sphere (maybe they sleep’eep, wake’ake, work’ork) but from time to time they want friends on Earth that’s absolutely for sure Universal gravitation is the force of being alone, attracting each other The universe is warped that is why all of us seek each other The universe is growing fast that is why all of us are uneasy Standing alone in two billion light years I sneezed, in spite of myself Nero to a beloved small dog Nero Summer will be here soon your tongue your eyes you taking a nap they all come back to me so clearly 48 You knew only two summers I’ve already known 18 summers I recall various summers, some my own, some not Summer in Maisons Laffitte Summer in Yodo Summer at Williamsburg Bridge Summer at Oran And I wonder how many summers humans have known Nero Summer will be here again soon but that is not the summer where you were it will be another summer a totally different summer A new summer will come and I will come to learn many new things things beautiful, things ugly, things that cheer me up, things that make me sad and I will ask what on earth are they? why on earth? what on earth should I do? Nero you died you went far away all by yourself so no one would know Your voice your touch even your feelings come back to me now so clearly 二十億光年の孤独 • 1952 Alone in Two Billion Light Years 49 But Nero Summer will soon arrive again a new infinitely open summer will be here and I will still walk on meeting a new summer, autumn, winter meeting spring, looking forward to yet another new summer to learn all new things and to answer all of my inquiries by myself Scalpel ! At that moment the cosmos converged into a gimlet and I spurned rarefied metaphysics modifiers saturate thoughts evaporate time decelerates abstraction retreats oblivion is obliterated in a series of lightless flashes in a soundless drum’s fortissimo materialism pierces to reduce love etc to protein molecules with a white bed and capillaries as my starting point I reclaimed my ordinary coordinates then what pained me right away was knotty discussions on existence 50 A Walk on a Cloudy Day After all, in heavens with no blue sky there aren’t any so-called answers In heat graced with moisture I rather yearn for a pickaxe Burnt fields have summer grasses the summer grasses are asserting their own will I’ll ask God what He thinks of humans ™ 二十億光年の孤独 • 1952 ...