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15 Chapter 2 Waking Up in Silence Things changed drastically for the Davila family after Rosalio’s death. “When the burden of raising a large family befell my mother,” he remembered, “I almost never saw her afterwards, especially during the important development years. She was gone day and night. She would come in after dark, often when I was already asleep, and she would be gone before I got up.”1 Now 38 years old, Soledad worked in the vegetable fields around the small towns near Carlsbad. She also cleaned other people’s homes on weekends and babysat in the evenings. Often exhausted, she would arrive home to prepare food for the next day. By 5 a.m., she would be gone to pick more vegetables. None of the children resented her for not being home for them. Rather, they all grew up independent because they had to do many things for themselves. Rosalio’s untimely death did not trigger change in the family’s world outlook—hard work was a Davila trait. As Roberto still remembers: The pleasures and security that comes from living as a group and spending quality time with each other and helping each other was always missing. But all of us understood why conditions in our family were the way they were and there was never any anger or fault-finding. It was a way of life.2 As the children grew up in Carlsbad, California, where Roberto’s maternal grandfather and his aunt and uncle lived, attendance at school was sporadic. Children of migrant workers were enrolled in public schools, but the monitoring of their presence was lax, especially in the spring of each year when the farm harvests were heavy in the San Joaquin and Imperial Valleys and throughout San Diego County. Such was the case with the Davila chil- 16 Moments of Truth dren. Roberto did not go to kindergarten and he was never enrolled in grammar school after fifth grade, except for occasionally accompanying his brothers for a few weeks at a time. Roberto’s oldest brother and two sisters managed to graduate from high school, but circumstances forced the others to drop out. It was difficult for Soledad to keep her children in school, especially after being widowed. She accepted that whatever her children could do to help the family make ends meet financially was the highest priority. Still, she knew that education was important for her children, and she did everything she could to support their attendance. Soledad was fatalistic, believing that hardship was God’s will and thus unavoidable.Heryoungestsonsawthingsdifferently,however.Evenasayoung boy, Roberto argued with her that a person could have more control of his or her own destiny. There must be a way out of this kind of life, he told her. Roberto seldom saw his brothers, who were often away at work, and so he had no one to look up to as a role model. When he was not working to help support the family, he joined the countless kids roaming the barrio. He followed his friends to the beach, walked the streets, and even had his wrist tattooed with his name. In the barrio he would bet on anything, most often staking a dime a bet. One of Roberto’s techniques involved wagering with other kids on who could eat a lemon the quickest. In one slurp, his lemon would be gone and he would win. That was how he picked up loose change— and his taste for lemons. Roberto tried his best to support his mother in raising their family during what were painfully meager times. One morning, she handed him a $5 bill and asked him to go purchase paint at a local hardware store. He knew just how much $5 meant to his family and he felt exceedingly honored that his mother would trust him with such a significant sum. He left home for the long trek into town with a sense of pride in being able to help in this way. When he arrived at the store, he realized, to his horror, that he had somehow lost the money en route. Terrified at what his family would think of him, he spent the night alone on the beach in utter disgrace. He hoped that when he finally returned home, his mother would be so relieved that he was safe, she might forget about the precious money with which he had been entrusted. Naturally, Roberto’s mother forgave him. Yet...

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