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52 Believing the task given, chosen, granted not from lack of belief in the thing not even any more from lack of belief it could be your task not even so much any more that you can’t do it but that you really can’t do it get it into the world – something to keep you from your own fear – not so much like a young woman who can’t believe what she can’t see even though her body assures her something is happening but that it could really go off on its own and what then – and if you could believe it, it would be like going back even further like putting all that turbulence of your thirties and forties in perspective putting all that erotic turbulence of your twenties aside and making a promise based on nothing but that promising, believing all this you might make it every day for however long ...

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