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Chapter Four
- Wilfrid Laurier University Press
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CHAPTER FOUR The past, each person’s unique personal history, can define each individual and all too often with lasting effects that extend beyond what one could ever think possible. A childhood experience can change a person’s life trajectory, a poor choice as an adult combined with an impulsive reaction can take a person on a path they never thought possible. This is the narrative of a now thirty-four-year-old man who had watched his brother suffer severe attacks that he, too, was victim and not just in the physical sense. He also had to learn, slowly over time, to negotiate emotional trauma that many cannot quite fathom. Later, he became a victim of circumstance, yet he admirably takes full responsibility for the actions that lead to the accidental death of a man and his manslaughter conviction. NARRATIVE. A BROTHER, A SON, A LOVER, A DAD, A MAN, A PRISONER WITH HEART I was convicted of manslaughter. I was in a fight outside a bar. The gentleman I was fighting had a heart attack after the fight. They recognize that my intention wasn’t murder, but my choices at that time led to his death. And I appreciate that. Before, I did a few months in provincial. That was for escaping lawful custody. My friend and I were drinking and driving, cruising around in his Cadillac, and he put the car in the ditch. When the cops showed up, I said that I was driving because it was his car. If he had [said he did it, he would have] lost his licence, we would have both been walking. Seemed like a good idea at the time. I’m paying for it to this day. I even had to do this Back on Track program; I just spent 600 dollars on that. I pled guilty. I have accepted my fate on that one. [Later] he was actually my co-accused in the manslaughter, and I haven’t heard from him in 10 7 10 8 S U R V I V I N G I N C A R C E R A T I O N years. He got an aggravated assault because they said he was an active participant but not directly responsible because I was the one that was fighting but he was there with me. Some of the witnesses, or one of the witnesses, said that they saw him kick the victim or something, but what he had done [was] grab the guy’s wallet because we didn’t know he was dead. We thought he was knocked out. So he grabbed his wallet and flipped through it, then he threw it at him, and we walked away. I was the only one fighting with the guy. So he got aggravated assault— three years; he’d already served over two with the dead time, so he was out in a couple months, seven months or something. So, I was a little frustrated, but at the same time I knew it was my beef. Today, I have cleared my list of friends. I was never really a career criminal, or a sociopath, or a hard case, or anything like that. We were having a good time, drinking some beers, out with the girls, and this guy starts getting touchy feely with my girlfriend. Him and I have a fight; he hits the ground. It could happen to anyone. But, at the same time, coming out of prison, I need to get away from that lifestyle. I don’t drink anymore; I identify as an alcoholic. I got rid of all my old friends from all the old neighbourhoods, all that stuff. I’m starting completely fresh. It’s tough. It’s lonely. I’m in school. I’m in a college engineering program just getting used to the whole being out in the community. Before prison, I had lived a very transient lifestyle; I had no goals, no direction—offshoot here—but when I was younger my brother and I were in a pretty serious accident. As part of the subsequent lawsuit and settlement, I was given sixty thousand that I invested and turned into a hundred and thirty thousand. Well, my lawyer and parents invested. If it was my choice, I would have taken the cake in one lump sum, probably would have blown it in a week. So through my teenage years and my young adulthood, it was like [voice dripping...