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INTRODUCTION Do keep in mind as you read this narrative that the events described leading to the narrator’s conviction of manslaughter occurred between three teenagers despite the adult discourse and articulation. The interviewee is a twenty-three-year-old black male who was released from prison after serving a five-year sentence for manslaughter beyond his previous experiences of incarceration. He was first introduced to the system in his youth and has watched far too many people—kids, truly—die unnecessary deaths in his few years. NARRATIVE. JUST A KID: FOREVER HURTING I was in jail for five years. I first went as an adolescent. Being rebellious , my mother would kick me out of the house, and, in turn, getting kicked out of the house, I started hanging around with people that were involved in crime and/or selling drugs; you know, just all walks of life. And eventually, I got tied up. I was getting money, getting cars, getting girls or whatever. I always had an abundance of you know, but I never looked at the bigger picture. I started selling a little bit of drugs, fights, violence, and got my first charge—assault. An ex-dude was selling and a white guy called us ‘niggers’ because of whatever reason. I beat him up, got charged for it. I’m actually half Portuguese, half Jamaican. [Author: Do people still use those derogatory slurs?] All day every day; the music that we listen to says it itself. I was sixteen [when convicted], fifteen when I got charged. They actually gave me two years on probation, and I pled guilty. Then my second charge was truancy because I wasn’t going to school at all, and they charged me and put a curfew on me. That’s when the bullshit started. We were living in [a city] at the time of the 1 2 S U R V I V I N G I N C A R C E R A T I O N assault, and my mom thought it would be better to move to [another city]. So we moved [to a new city in a bad area]. We did a little bit of migration, but that’s when the bullshit started. I was supposed to go to school, but I didn’t go to school, so the truancy officer got involved. I got charged, and they put a curfew on me. It was for little stupid things, like my mom would ask me to go to the store, and it would be a half an hour to my curfew. I would go to the store and on the way back I’d get pulled over, and they’re like, ‘You hang out with so-and-so.’ I should mention that the people I hung out with didn’t have a good rapport with the cops. They were always harassing and antagonizing and being ignorant, and when they [the officers] showed aggression, I would be aggressive in my own nature and get right back at them. So I’d get resisting arrest or some other violence, and that’s where it all started. We were just straight enemies. I would see a cop or he would see me. He’d bust a U-turn in the middle of the street with full traffic, cut off cars just to get at me, pull me over, jump out of the car, grab me, and throw me up against the car. They’d be like, ‘You’re a tough guy. Come into the station,’ and then I’d go to the station and get beat up for about half an hour, and they’d release me again with a promise to appear [in court]. That was not fun.... Then I was selling drugs, and I’d have people that would want to rob or try and rob me or something along those lines, so I decided to get protection, and the protection just made it worse because I felt like Scarface, like I could just do what I want when I want; if someone had a problem, I could end it. It was scary at times because certain situations occurred where violence was not necessary, but because of the people and the situation in general, people did get hurt. It got to the point where I felt I don’t need this anymore, so I would get rid of it. But before I got rid of it...

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