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• 1 • W P R O L O G U E “I’mnotkidding” I T H O U T W A R N I N G to her audience, and with even her husband uncertain of exactly what was coming, first lady Laura Bush took the stage and stole the show at the annual White House Correspondents’ Association dinner on April 30, 2005. In a performance widely applauded by supporters and critics on both sides of the culture wars, Mrs. Bush made open fun of the policies, the foibles, and, indirectly, even the sexual performance of the president of the United States. Just as George W. Bush was approaching the podium as entertainer in chief, a role increasingly prescribed for the president by the developments of the previous century, Mrs. Bush reversed expected performance roles—and challenged lingering gender expectations where first ladies are concerned—when she pushed him aside and addressed the crowd: Ladies and gentlemen, I’ve been attending these dinners for years, and just quietly sitting there. Well, I’ve got a few things I want to say for a change. . . . George always says he’s delighted to come to these press dinners. Baloney! He’s usually in bed by now. I’m not kidding. I said to him the other day: “George, if you really want to end tyranny in the world, you’re going to have to stay up later.”1 As the ten-minute routine proceeded, Mrs. Bush bemoaned her evenings spent married to “Mr. Excitement” by identifying with one of the year’s most popular television shows and by sharing her solution for invigorating White House domestic life, touching on the president’s more private shortcomings in the process: Ladies and gentlemen, I am a desperate housewife. I mean, if those women on that show think they’re desperate, they ought to be with George. One night, after George went to bed, Lynne Cheney, Condi • 2 • p r o l o g u e Rice, Karen Hughes, and I went to Chippendale’s. I wouldn’t even mention it, except Ruth Ginsburg and Sandra Day O’Connor saw us there. I won’t tell you what happened, but Lynne’s Secret Service codename is now “Dollar Bill.” The laughter swelled and it quickly became clear that Laura Bush was a hit. Occasionally she cast glances left or right toward President Bush, Lynne Cheney, or some other target, perhaps with a wink of reassurance that all was in jest, but she never did so apologetically. She was clearly enjoying her moment in the spotlight, the studied graciousness of her smile failing to mask completely a sense of impish glee she telegraphed with each joke and every roar of approval from the crowd of journalists. At the climax of her act, with her confidence high and her comic role by now firmly established, she ventured into more volatile political territory with her description of Bush on their ranch in Crawford, Texas: We like it down there. George didn’t know much about ranches when we bought the place. Andover and Yale don’t have a real strong ranching program. But I’m proud of George. He has learned a lot about ranching since that first year when he tried to milk the horse. What’s worse it was a male horse. Now, of course, he spends his days clearing brush, cutting trails, taking down trees, or as the girls [Bush daughters Jenna and Barbara ] call it: “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.” George’s answer to any problem at the ranch is to cut it down with a chainsaw, which I think is why he and Cheney and Rumsfeld get along so well.2 Although Laura Bush’s material was crafted by White House speechwriter Landon Parvin and well rehearsed in advance, she displayed the comic chops of a pro. Her lack of formal experience notwithstanding, her delivery was focused and smooth. She showed a polished sense of timing as she allowed the laughter and applause from one joke to crest and proceed just past its peak before she continued, never allowing silence to kill the comic rhythm. Cedric the Entertainer, one of the nation’s most popular comedians and purportedly the evening’s headliner, could only sit and try to enjoy being upstaged by a comic novice who had her act down cold. Laura Bush’s performance as a seasoned standup comic was due not only to her rehearsals in the days leading up to the dinner...

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