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55 D Chapter Fourteen d liFe in the third reich Due to the new political situation,which demanded increased caution,our social life became more restricted. Unfortunately, this did not affect the regular invasions of family members seeking a cheap vacation in our spacious, vine-clad white house with the red window shutters and beautiful garden. Several times during the year, my grandmother appeared, to stay with us for a few weeks. Accompanied by her slavish servant Martha, like a gray shadow behind her, she always seemed eager to display the utmost humility of a pious Christian. My father maintained that she was downright bigoted. Occupying the main guest room on the second floor,she maltreated my mother’s grand piano for endless hours during the day, making abundant use of the pedals.Only my father’s arrival abruptly stopped her.She never tired of lecturing me about the duties of a Prussian girl of Christian noble birth.After all,the granddaughter of two and great-granddaughter of three Prussian generals,related to royalty with at least fourteen noble ancestors in her pedigree,was expected not ever to speak unless being spoken to, nor to oppose orders, humble obedience being the foremost virtue of any female. I was not to pick my nose, make faces, cry, complain, lie, or bite my fingernails to the quick,as was my unfortunate habit at the time. Instead,I should display humility,piety, and fear of God. Later, I would be sure to wear my plain hair in a simple, knotted bun, my entire appearance of such supreme modesty that a man of aristocratic standing, preferably one with a large estate, would be honored and happy to ask for my hand in marriage! Marriage? Living in a castle in some godforsaken area held no special attraction for me! So,she asked,what would I like to do instead? A librarian,maybe, or perhaps a governess or a nurse in some noble order? My reply focused her sharply: I was actually thinking about becoming a demimonde! Not having the faintest notion of this word’s true meaning, I had lately overheard my mother using it in connection with an imperial Prussian princess in the habit of cheating on her husband. The announcement left my prudish grandmother speechless, which had been my purpose. My father instilled in his children the importance of behaving in such a way that could serve as an example to those around us and particularly the ones beneath us. “Noblesse oblige” meant that high birth was not only a privilege, but a duty, an obligation to others, mainly the ones dependent on us, at our mercy, those helpless and too weak to fend for themselves.After all, for hundreds of years, our ruling“caste”had determined the fate of so many others entrusted to us. ParT one 56 The outstanding social events in our house during the winter were the formal dinner parties, requiring weeks of meticulous planning and preparation. Since Anna would barely permit the maids, let alone a second cook in her kitchen, the planning of the daily menus was left up to her. Anna prepared meals in the true tradition of Prussian frugality, the consumption of food considered a somewhat obscene function, performed exclusively in order not to starve.Anything beyond that was considered gluttony and a luxury in which the French, who seemed obsessed with this vulgar habit, might indulge. Eating, particularly in my mother’s opinion, was something so banal that not even a thought was to be wasted on it. Vegetables were mercilessly cooked to death and drowned in a white sauce. Fish, usually cod, was boiled until it fell apart. I was almost a teenager when I discovered that there were more than two kinds of fish in the world; aside from cod, the only other kind served at home was the traditional carp eaten on New Year’s Eve. Anna preferred the fish’s eyes as a special delicacy, crushing them with a sickening sound between her teeth. The most disgusting dish, served with minute regularity, was a hash consisting of leftovers, the looks of which made me wonder if it was to be eaten or if it had already been eaten. Only my father ’s presence at the table improved the quality of the food. He ate with lightning speed, a habit from his military school days where anything not eaten quickly was stolen from one’s plate by hungry comrades. No matter...

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