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Auction Barn Surprise
- University Press of New England
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AUCTION BARN SURPRISE % i’ve always followed my gut. But what if your gut has gone stupid? Old age softens the intestines among other body parts. If I can’t trust my gut, maybe I’ll try my brain. Oh-oh. Now we’re in for trouble. % % % It snowed only enough to cover the ground. Charlene called after breakfast while he was finishing his coffee, caught him in a weak moment of musing, and Howard said, “I sold the house, land, everything, as is. They gave me a couple weeks to get out.” “Then there’s nothing keeping you. It’s 71 degrees here even as I speak, and last night we saw some deer, they are so brazen, not as big as the white tails of Darby, but frequent, though I won’t go in the woods, well not woods exactly, more like galoot-sized bushes, there’s trails, because of the snakes, which are numerous I have to admit, but birds, too. You’ll love it here Daddy, especially the fishing, boats galore, start newbie with us for Thanksgiving, everybody is going to be here, Julia and her clan, but no Ricky, and Pegeen will come with that most recent husband, who unlike the rest of her husbands actually has a job and is respectful. Grab a flight to Dallas and from there McAllen, and Number Two will pick you up at the airport, it’s ’bout sixty or maybe eighty miles to our little piece of heaven on earth.” When he was finally able to get a word in edgewise, Howard said, “No airplane flight for Howie Elman. I’ll drive. See you in four or five days,” and hung up. He couldn’t tell whether it was his gut or his brain that had spoken. 95 After breakfast Howard continued making a plan. Pack the pt Cruiser. Pack it with what? Four days of driving equals one extra pair of socks and a change of underwear. Why bother with the underwear, you’re not going to pull down your pants in public, are you? Howard hauled a couple of suitcases from his gray barn and packed for his trip, bringing along the ice tongs he’d bought at Ike’s Auction Barn three summers ago. He wished he had one of those leather-backed aprons worn by the iceman when he cometh. Later that morning Howard drove to Keene and on impulse bought and had installed a blue police light and siren for the pt Cruiser. That little errand took him into the afternoon. He told himself that the blue light and siren would be useful if he got behind a slowpoke and needed to pass. He called F. Latour and told him he was moving in with Charlene in South Texas, gone maybe forever. From his son’s guarded response Howard didn’t think Freddy—excuse me, Latour—believed him, which led him to doubting himself. If the gut instinct proves unreliable then a strong will is a liability. On the drive from Keene all the way back to Darby he ran the blue light and siren. It was exhilarating. Which is why they call the gas pedal the exhilarator. The right thing to do now is to haul ass to the town hall and submit your resignation as constable. I can’t do it. As is so often the case in your long life, you can’t bring yourself to do the right thing. The right thing for thee is the wrong thing for me. Who had said that? It was one of Ollie Jordan’s many sayings, which in the end could not save him. I miss you, Ollie, you pitiful, hopeless fool. Birch offered to store Howard’s tools and valuables in one of the barns on the Trust property, but Howard waved off the idea. He decided [3.236.111.234] Project MUSE (2024-03-19 06:42 GMT) 96 to leave everything where it was, in the language of the contract “as is,” and let the new owners decide what to bring to the landfill, what to set out for a Saturday yard sale, and what to keep. He told himself he was driving instead of flying because he didn’t want to have to depend on Charlene and Number Two for transportation once he arrived in Texas. That’s one of those partial truths that makes St. Peter scratch his head at the pearly gates, wondering: If “X” has...