Autobiographical, Scientific, Religious, Moral, and Literary Writings

The Banterer

22 The Banterer1 As soon as I was informed that the writers who had been charged with examining new works, had, by various accidents, successively resigned their employment, I took it into my head that I could replace them extremely well, and since I do not have the bad vanity of wanting to be modest with the public, I frankly admit that I found myself very capable of it; I even maintain that one should never speak in any other way about oneself unless one is very sure of not being taken in by it. If I were a known author, perhaps I would pretend to reel oV some untruths to my disadvantage in order to try skillfully under their cover to put the defects I was forced to admit into the same class: but at present the stratagem would be too dangerous, as a preliminary judgment the reader would infallibly play me the trick of taking everything literally: now I ask my dear colleagues, is that what is due to an author who speaks ill of himself? I feel very well that it is not quite enough for me to be convinced of my great capacity and that it would be rather necessary for the public to share that conviction halfway: but it is easy for me to show that this reflection, even taken as it must be, turns almost entirely to my profit. For note, I beg you, that if the public does not have any proofs that I am provided with talents suitable for succeeding in the work that I am undertaking , one cannot say, either, that it has any to the contrary. Thus, I already have a considerable advantage over the majority of my competitors; with regard to them truly I am relatively far ahead by all the distance they have gone backward. Thus I am providing for a favorable prejudice and I am confirming it by suYcient reasons, very capable, in my opinion, of dissipating forever every sort of disadvantageous suspicion on my account. 1st For a great number of years there have been published an infinite number of journals, newspapers, and other periodical works in every country and in every language, and I have applied the most scrupulous attention to never reading any of all that. From which I conclude that, since my head is not at all stuVed with that jargon, I am in a condition to draw from it productions that are much better in themselves, although perhaps in smaller quantity. This reason is good for the public, but I have been forced to reverse it for my publisher by telling him that the judgment engenders more things to the extent that the memory is less burdened with them, and that, therefore, materials would not be lacking to us. 2nd I have not found it appropriate either, and for just about the same reason, to lose much time with the study of the sciences or with that of ancient authors. For a long time systematic Physics has been relegated to the country of Novels, experimental physics does not appear to me to be anything more than the art of nicely arranging pretty baubles,* and Geometry that of As to the ancients, it seemed to me that, in the judgments that I would have to bring to bear, probity would not wish me to lead my readers astray as our scholars used to do by substituting , in my opinion fraudulently, for what they would expect, something from Aristotle or Cicero which they have no need to do; thanks to the spirit of our moderns this scandal has ceased *See M. the Abbé Nolet’s collection.2 I ask you to fill this lacuna , but in good faith and without skimping.3 Pl., I, 1103–1105 23 24 The Banterer for a long time and I will very much keep myself from bringing back its unwelcome fashion. The only thing I have applied myself to is reading Dictionaries and I have profited from it so much that, in less than three months, I have seen myself in a condition to settle everything with as much assurance and authority as if I had studied for two years. In addition, I have acquired a little collection of Latin passages drawn from various Poets, in which I shall find material to embroider and embellish my sheets, by handling them with...