-
History of the Preceding Writing
- Dartmouth College Press
- Chapter
- Additional Information
HISTORY OF THE PRECEDING WRITING I will not speak about the subject, object, or form of this Writing here. I did so in the introduction that precedes it. But I will say what it was intended for, what its destiny was, and why this copy is found here. I spent four years on these dialogues, despite the heartache that never left me while I worked on them, and I was close to the end of that sorrowful task without knowing or imagining how to make use of it, and without resolving what I would at least try to do for that purpose. Twenty years of experience had taught me what rectitude and fidelity I could expect from those who surrounded me under the name of friends. Struck above all by the glaring duplicity of Duclos,139 whom I had esteemed to the extent of entrusting my Confessions to him and who had used the most sacred trust offriendship only as an instrument of imposture and betrayal, what could I expect from the people placed around me since that time, all of whose maneuvers so clearly announced their intentions. Entrusting my manuscript to them was nothing other than wishing to hand it to my persecutors myself, and the way in which I was entangled left me no other means to approach anyone else. In this situation, mistaken in all my choices and finding only perfidy and falseness among men, my soul—exalted by the feeling of its innocence and by that of their iniquity—rose up impulsively to the seat of all order and all truth, to seek there the resources I no longer had here below. No longer able to trust any man not to betray me, I resolved to trust uniquely in providence and to give to it alone the complete disposition of the deposit which I wanted to place in safe hands. In order to do that, I imagined making a fresh copy of this writing and placing it in a Church on an altar; and to make this gesture as solemn as possible, I chose the high Altar of the Cathedral of Notre Dame, judging that everywhere else my deposit would more easily be hidden and misappropriated by the Cures or Monks, and would inevitably fall into the hands of my enemies; whereas it could happen that the noise of this action would bring my manuscript to the eyes of the King, which was the most favorable thing I could desire and which could never happen if I proceeded in any other way. While I was working on the clean copy ofmy writing, I was meditating 246 History of the Preceding (PL, I. 977-979) 247 about the means for executing my project, which wasn't very easy, especially for a man as timid as I am. I thought that a Saturday, the day of each week when a motet is sung before the altar of Notre Dame leaving the Choir empty, would be the day when I would have the easiest time entering, reaching the Altar, and placing my deposit there. To plan my move more surely, I went several times at long intervals to examine the state of things and the disposition of the Choir and its accesses. For what I had to fear was to be detained in the passage, feeling certain that ifI were, my project was ruined. Finally, with my Manuscript ready, I wrapped it and placed the following inscription on it. DEPOSIT HANDED OVER TO PROVIDENCE "Protector of the oppressed, God of justice and truth, receive this deposit placed on your Altar and entrusted to your providence by an unfortunate stranger, alone, without support, without a defender on earth, insulted, mocked, defamed, betrayed by a whole generation, burdened for more thanfifteenyears at whim by treatment worse than death and by indignities unheard of until now among men, without ever having been able at least to learn the cause. All explanation is refused me, all communication is taken away, I no longer expect anything from men embittered by their own injustice except affronts, lies, and betrayals. Eternal Providence, my only hope lies in you. Deign to take my deposit into your care and place it in hands that are young and faithful, who will transmit it exempt from fraud to a better generation. Let it learn by deploring my lot how this generation treated a man without rancor and without disguise, the enemy of injustice but patient in enduring it, and who...