The Red Kimono: A Novel

71. Sachi

“But most of all, Sachi-chan, I know that taking you from America would be as hard for you as it was for me to leave Japan. This is your home. You are an American.” Joy. Sadness. Love. Pride. Longing. How could all of these feelings be mixed up together? She felt she might explode with the fullness of it. No longer afraid, she leaped up to hug Mama. Mama held her, and Sachi breathed in the scent of cedar in her mother’s clothes, tasted salt in the tears still on her cheek. Mama pulled her closer—so close Sachi could hear the rapid flutter of Mama’s heart begin to calm. Then Sachi felt it, too. Gaman. Endurance. Resolve. No matter what the future held, everything was going to be okay. CHAPTER 71 Sachi NOVEMBER 19, 1945 A porcelain mask Once broken, but now removed My true face revealed Sachi found it strange, even upsetting. Why did she hesitate to get on the bus that would take her and Papa to Little Rock? It wasn’t like they were being taken to a place unknown, like when they left California. This time, they would not be imprisoned behind barbed wire or made to live in tar paper barracks. Papa had shown her pictures of where they would live on the plantation where he had found work. It was so much nicer than the tiny spaces she’d lived in for the last four years. And she’d finally have her own bedroom again. No more barbed wire fences. No more guards with guns. No more having to sign out when she left camp. They were free. Why then, didn’t she feel happy? She stood by the gate, watching the men, women, and children of The Red Kimono 301 the camp file out, carrying suitcases and boxes. Some would be boarding the train that waited down the road. Soon, Mama would be one of the passengers on that train. She would take the long ride back to California, but it would be only the first part of her journey. Next, she would take a ship back to Japan. She felt sad, imagining Mama alone as she searched for her parents. And even with the frustration she felt toward Mama at times, it was hard for Sachi to imagine life without her. A bus engine started up and rumbled. Only a few Japanese would board the buses, to be taken to places not so far away, yet a world away. Strange that there were more tears than smiles. A cold wind blew. It howled through the rows of barracks, like the last breath of a camp that had once been alive with Japanese. A hat tumbled back inside the gate. A man turned and paused, as if deciding to chase it, but instead, walked to the train. Mama and Papa faced each other and whispered quietly. Sachi couldn’t hear what they were saying, but she could read every little sentiment their eyes expressed to each other. I am sorry to be leaving you. Please take care of yourself. Take care of our children. I will miss you. You will stay in my heart. She wanted to be near Mama, too, and her throat tightened. What would it be like not to see her every day? Remembering how Mama had changed when Papa wasn’t around, she wondered if Papa might change without Mama. Shaking off the thoughts that made her sad, she walked to the fence post where she had been stacking rocks the day she’d first talked to Jubie. It seemed like another life. A life when Papa was dead. A life when she thought she had to look the same as everyone else to fit it. A life before she knew a Japanese girl and a colored girl could be sisters. Then, she smiled. No matter what happened in the weeks and months to come, her new life was a better life. Where was Jubie, anyway? She promised to be there before the buses left, so Sachi wasn’t too worried. Still, a tiny fear nagged at her. What if something held Jubie up and kept them from saying goodbye? Stones that had fallen lay scattered around the fence. She knelt to gather several and began to stack them again. 302 JAN MORRILL Breathe. But what if Jubie doesn’t come in time...