In lieu of an abstract, here is a brief excerpt of the content:

CHAPTER 18 A New Movement, A New Paper C arol and I did not move in with our new friends, mainly because the space didn’t seem adequate, but I was invited to begin meeting with the men’s group, and did so promptly. On the day of the first meeting I was scheduled to attend, some particularly horrible event occurred (I don’t remember whether it was another insult from Jonathan in the house or some difficulty getting paid for my work, or some combination of affronts). I told my story and related my frustration and need for support to this small group of men, most of whom I was meeting for the first time; they found my candor to be a breakthrough for their group, which they celebrated by taking me outside and hoisting me above their heads as an expression of solidarity and support. The group was off and running. We remained together for more than two years from that point, meeting weekly and sharing every aspect of our rapidly changing lives with each other. It was a tremendously important focus for me during that time, an anchor of support, a standard of understanding against which to measure all kinds of other changes going on in my life, and a cauldron in which to explore my feelings and my willingness to allow others to see parts of myself I had always hidden. Several group members were in various stages of rethinking their sexual orientation, and over time that gave me permission to look at that subject, too, with no pressure to make a definitive decision about it. Carol and I found a charming little two-bedroom house near downtown Palo Alto on January 1, 1976. It faced the creek that separated Palo Alto from Menlo Park, and had a low brick wall around the front yard and a small backyard with fruit trees. We were thrilled, and made the house just as homey as we could. The extra bedroom served as an office for both of us. We relished taking our place in the community as an involved young couple. My men’s group joined with other like-minded men to initiate a Palo Alto Men’s Center. We rented the basement of the Institute for the Study of Non-Violence as our meeting space. Various of us from the Men’s Center took turns producing a Men’s Page for the Grapevine, partly as a device to raise interest in the activities of the center, and partly to encourage people to question their own adherence to traditional roles. As other special-interest groups had done 154 | Chapter 18 before us, we would send delegates to the monthly meetings, where editorial decisions were made by collective consensus, and to the weekend-long paste-up sessions. My turn came up to work on the page when I wrote a description of our opening event at the Men’s Center, which was heralded with a full-page article in the local daily, the Palo Alto Times, and was attended by 150 people. I began my article with a description of the opening night and a discussion of how the men’s movement that seemed to be coming together owed a lot to both the women’s movement and the history of countercultural exploration many of us shared. Playfully, I offered several different ways of describing this development, then wrote: These little statements are getting closer to how I’m feeling, but they still don’t say it the way I would like to: I’m glad I’m learning to show my feelings. I’m glad I’m making so many new friends, and that it feels like home to me here. I haven’t been home in so long. It’s good to share again this building of something that belongs to all of us. I feel myself unfolding inside, getting ready for a rush of New and Alive. I haven’t felt this way in years. It brings tears to my eyes to realize this; my eyes are so unused to tears, especially happy, fulfilled tears. It seems I can begin to show myself at last, and it’s good not to be alone. Hello, brothers! Glad to see you! It’s easy for me to see Mel Lyman’s influence in the writing style of this piece, but that would not have been apparent to anyone else. It’s also easy...

Share