WAITING FOR THE BELOVED

Dancing Man

•฀฀42฀฀• Dancing Man He฀was฀never฀anyone฀you฀knew dancing฀man฀with฀a฀scarf strapped฀to฀his฀hip. Too฀uncaring฀how฀his฀limbs whip฀the฀air฀silver฀to฀be effeminate—His฀loins฀too฀lusty, full฀of฀lager,฀to฀muster฀the฀sheer ruddiness฀of฀a฀summer฀ruddy฀girl. The฀one฀I฀hated. The฀one฀I฀was. If฀I฀had฀danced฀with฀him,฀Mother, I฀would฀have฀married฀him for฀you As฀it฀is,฀my฀mouth฀hungered฀lushness, black฀plums,฀peaches฀runny down฀veiny฀chins.฀As฀it฀was, I฀never฀knew฀Grandmama฀was฀a฀gypsy till฀I฀flew฀headlong฀into฀winds whipping฀my฀skirt,฀into฀pockets for฀men฀and฀men฀to฀sink฀into— All฀the฀time฀the฀Dancing฀Man blew฀on฀my฀breast฀in฀the฀dark. I฀thought฀I’d฀go฀mad,฀burning white฀candles฀to฀the฀bottom of฀my฀nights฀to฀have฀him in฀me. •฀฀43฀฀• If฀I฀had฀kissed฀him,฀Mother, I฀would฀have฀sung฀to฀him till฀I฀broke฀and฀the฀blood remembered฀all฀the฀white฀light flickering฀the฀faces฀in฀the฀dark, mistaken฀for฀his฀face, and฀not฀marked. There’s฀a฀price฀a฀girl฀pays when฀a฀father฀strolls฀so฀lightly around.฀His฀shadow฀ringing฀about the฀memory.฀A฀cloud฀forbidding entry,฀forbidding gathering฀.฀.฀.฀฀All฀I฀wanted฀was฀gold earth,฀a฀shawl฀for฀the฀heat, to฀lay฀my฀burning฀white skin฀to฀the฀cold฀dirt฀.฀.฀.฀฀All฀I฀wanted was฀the฀sun฀burning฀limbs฀whipping silver฀and฀not฀caring As฀it฀is,฀girls฀harbored฀unfettered like฀that.฀You฀never฀told฀me. I฀never฀knew. Arms฀feathering฀lovely to฀the฀sky. Wings฀torn฀off฀butterflies฀hungering for฀heat too฀impatient฀with฀seasons฀buried in฀white฀to฀wait. •฀฀44฀฀• Not฀waiting.฀Not฀caring. Black฀scarves฀with฀roses฀dancing. Redness฀ripping฀their฀legs all the long black all the long black night. ...