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26 B lue A ir Saying Yes The thing I don’t like, is having to--anything. At first I had to, because at three, it’s hard to run away from home. At eighteen I ran, showing them my back, a flat no. I had to keep turning that flat no to most things, school because of time, food because of fat, cars because of noise, men because of sex, sex because of men. I wrote my way in and out of darkness, climbed streets, said yes, and grey light, the reflection of shadows, turned colors as I walked through tears I’d held back and salvaged in every other life. ...

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