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The University of Perversity

Bart Edelman 67 The University of Perversity I earned my advanced degree From the University of Perversity, Where no major is beyond reason. I conducted field work In motels, barrooms, casinos And wrote a doctoral thesis, Pain and Pleasure: A Study of the Human Race. I traced the evolution of sin And drew necessary connections Between popular cultural ethos, Defining men and women As perfect subjects in an imperfect world. My research opened doors To theories, often hypothesized, Yet never proven in scientific settings. I was unafraid of waves And the swells they made— The oscillation of the sexes Appeared quite ripe for me; After all, any abnormal practice Needs academic investigation Before sound judgment can be reached. Bound copies of my dissertation Reside in the Special Collections wing On the top floor of the U. of P. library. It’s a jolly good read each spring When wayward girls and boys Take such concupiscent joy In removing their clothes. ...