Bob and Weave

Your Friend

52 Your Friend Your friend has finally found his hat, spins it on his finger and laughs. His teeth glow yellow when he grins. He wants his toothpick, and he wants it now. Smears the window with his index finger. Licks his palm. Your friend has been asking for you, says you know all the secret switches and the hidden paths of mystical bugs. Your friend has spoken his vows to the chair and won’t move, says only death will part him. He has eaten the real roses right out of the vases. Swallowed the lucky penny he found under the jam basket. You must come right now and pay your friend’s tab. He has taken off his shoes and hung his socks on the back of the chair. Scratches his toes with a plastic straw. He sings show tunes of the thirties and our customers are leaving, the ones who eat efficiently and tip with a smile. Your friend is on the floor now, has pulled the tablecloth around him. He implores our new waitress, the high school girl with pigtails, to take off her clothes and dance. Pretends he has a gun under there. 53 Wiggles his toes. Asks for a condom and a bottle of rum. Says to stay calm because you’re on your way. He says you always know what to do. ...