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44 therapy & when i am a grown man in the united states i will learn molestation doesn’t mean mahal love because tío did mahal love in session i will fixate on my shrink’s crotch khakied berkeley bulge wonder if my childhood is hiding in the sweaty crush of his pubic hair tiny black dots lice like secrets he will nod &elucidate boundaries were violated & i will remember the frenzy of stars crowding theTagaytay sky horse snorts fogging cricket rub & tío’s tongue between licks explains this sweetmeats is the best way a wife can show her devotion & then they appear mama on her knees papa elbows behind his head watching the stars grind together mama’s cheeks slick with fidelity when i ask tío if he is my wife he laughs fills the night with the perfume of dark beer garlic sausage belch 45 & a smell i will later recognize as my own secrets are toxic for children i will not argue & consider instead what childhood might be like without shadows or doors perpetrator tío newly baptized & i will remember myself as i am now a boy imagining myself as a grown man reflection in the medicine cabinet spitting image of tío confronting reclaiming the child’s body running the razor over my adam’s apple cat lick grit tender burn & glide ...

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