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150 hEAVENlY SEX 1. The law Opens a bottle of schnapps. “Writer, schmyter, you’re unemployed. Unemployed people must make love at least once a day. Talmud says: A laborer, twice a week; a mule driver once a week; a camel driver, once a month. It’s the law. This is heavenly sex. Say a blessing— pray—‘Blessed art thou, O Lord our God . . .’ Ba-ruch a-ta . . . For your spouse and for your seed. What is it with you? I need to explain how to bring a soul into the world?” 2. The Blessing “Listen: The soul is the Lord’s candle. So you say a blessing. And you sing to her—your wife: Strength and honor are her clothing, you sing. She opened her mouth with wisdom, you sing. Her children arise up and call her blessed, you sing. Rabbi says if knowing a woman were not holy, it would not be called ‘knowing.’ So, after a good Shabbes meal— 151 linen tablecloth, blessed spices, braided loaves of challah, a goblet of wine . . . Thirty-nine things you cannot do on the Sabbath, but you can eat. You can drink. You can schtupp. Make one another happy. It’s the law.” ...

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