The Horses: New & Selected Poems

Gum Wrappers

223 gum wrAPPers I was a duke of the fourth grade ultra-smart kids One lunch Leslie opened her mouth wide and showed me her chewed-up raisins Ugh! My fu man disgust act was so funny her dark eyes sparked she squealed with delight and we fell in love She chased me around class and in the halls declared her love warm and flirtatious Tough jolly duke I denied her too bumptious craggy and flame-browed for love But I did I did That was my secret Alone in my room Leslie shone blush light tingling sweetness I imagined myself near her across the city on the doorman East Side angel current in the motes and air of her room her doorknob watching and thrilling Leslie Leslie Anything but myself She was loving loved down to the mashed up glop in her mouth And I was a wolf of shame So I worked the erotics of no before I knew what they were kept myself safe by acting amused 224 and coolly indifferent while I lived for the transmogrified future when I could save her from drowning from legions of tough kids in glorious fighting and our love would declare itself Wolf of denial the tension was delicious she and I wound up and ticking like a crimson clock But Leslie declocked herself after about a week sadly and sweetly She wanted the present She wanted the erotics of yes So our love went underground started to churn against itself She had a club the Kitcat Club with Norma and Irene so I headed up the Anti-Kitcat Club with Harvey and Neal espionage fake messages I even pulled Norma’s braids at the bus stop glared into her wide gray eyes The low came in sixth grade when Leslie took up with the loathsome Donnie Schulman I punched him in the stomach the old solar plexus trick left him fishflopping in the hall But the crux had crinkled long before In fifth grade gym class Leslie stepped forward flanked by the Kitcats and she held a silver ball “I make this” she announced “Every day I add a gum wrapper At the center is the name of the one I love with all my heart” We sneered to each other Neal Harvey and I Of course the name at the 225 center was mine But was it? And the love rolled away wrapped in silver entombed empearled growing farther and bigger ...