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How La Lupe Defeated the Alien Invasion of 1969

74 How La Lupe Defeated the Alien Invasion of 1969 In the end it was not a virus or a cold that did them in. It was the sound that came from the upper registers of the radio dial. For with all their strange alien skill they could not foretell the dangers hidden in the weak AM radio signals whose transmissions never pierced the Magellanic clouds. They appeared and dispatched our planetary defenses took the capitals of the vanquished governments who prepared a ceremony of surrender. Dignitaries came to submit and genuflect till on the third day the ambassador of the Bronx arrived to pay humble tribute in the form of his people’s song. The perpetual glowering grins of the alien representatives flared when she appeared to serenade them. La Lupe at the microphone began to move and even with twelve eyes each, the strangers could not detect how her body moved that day. The devil in her body stirred that cadera shake which caused their tentacles to feel their first perspiration till by the third verse the delegation was writhing on the ground. And then from the bodegas the swaying shocktroops arrived armed with the hipsway threat of street corner tabletop armories piled high with bootleg munitions of Celia Cruz and Tito Puente. 75 Within an hour Mongo Santamaria was blaring from open windows. and Walter Cronkite gave way to Johnny Pacheco and the Fania All-Stars. By the end of the day satellites in every orbit broadcast guaracha and son montuno till every craft came tumbling down in quivering wrecks. Nothing could have prepared the aliens when the trembling came Traveling light years in the silence of deep space had left them prone and unable to resist the corporeal quake. But having no hips, they could not shake it off and shattered themselves into oblivion. ...