Octavius the 1st

Chapter 4

46 Octavius the 1st Chapter 4 Coleridge holds that a man cannot have a pure mind who refuses apple dumplings. I am not certain but he is right. —Charles Lamb Nap first, then an invigorating bath, that was the sensible order, reflected Octavius as he wrapped a stiff hand around the front knob. The Marauder, freed from restraint, scratched frantically, one could say rabidly, at the base of the door, bounding across the threshold as it opened. The QM, in the lounge chair perusing this month’s number of Better Homes & Better Lives© (cover exposé: “Secret Southern Gardens: Paradise Cheap, Easy, and Now”), accepted the loping beast to her lap. “MY BABY!” she said, and corrected after, it seemed to Octavius , a perceptible pause, “BOTH MY BABIES!” Let not the bloat king tempt thee ’gain to . . . Octavius preempted the thought and, with a grace perhaps inferior to a man of his ordinarily world-weary demeanor, amended, ah, screw it. He was exhausted from his sojourn into the wilds, and he had a 47 Gaylord Brewer headache from the tumble with civic duty, when both the constipated beast’s and “PJ’s” wanton reckless disregard had conspired to physically bring down his good intentions, his “guarding of the fort.” Well, no good deed unpunished, he reminded himself, hanging coat and scarf and topping them with his humbled cap. How true that was. The Marauder was rolling on its back in the QM’s lap in a febrile, apoplectic, leg-lurching frenzy, head hanging and drool flying as its stomach received a rough massage. “DID MY BABY POO POO? DID MY BABY POO POO?” Octavius couldn’t watch. Passing the unfortunate celebration (and of what, exactly?), he offered a simple and unadorned announcement . “No poo poo.” “NO POO POO! MY POOR BABY’S ALL BUNGED UP!” His back to the living room, Octavius stuck two fingers into the mystery jelly still in a jar on the table, raised a gelatinous crimson portion to his lips as partial recompense for his suffering, and licked the fingers clean. Of necessity, he cleansed the palate with one of the two remaining “piggies,” now cold. “YOUR MAMA MADE YOU SAUSAGE GRAVY,” the QM continued. The beast had now gyrated off her legs, flipped, and landed on its feet on the floor, intent, it seemed apparent to Octavius 48 Octavius the 1st even from across the room, on any random destruction or infliction of pain. “YOU GO EAT YOUR BOWL NOW, SWEET-SWEET. MAW-MAW SOAKED THE BREAD THE WAY YOU LIKE IT. YOU EAT NOW AND THEN LATER YOU CAN DOODOO REAL GOOD!” Instead, the animal sniffed the air, responded with its usual dexterous disgust, and bounded toward the window howling at some ghostly apparition of passers-by. It clawed the scarred and bent lower rungs of the venetian blind and unleashed a plaintive wail against the universe and, more locally, Octavius’s ears. As the man looked down, as if for some oracular insight, into the lumpy gray bowl of congealed “gravy” and its slick islands of, apparently, broken cornbread, it occurred to him that his household’s interests, as well as the palate of its discourse, were somewhat limited. “I’m going to take a short nap,” he announced, coughing just slightly around the second swallowed sausage. “SURE BABY, YOU GO AHEAD. YOU NEED TO REST UP FOR YOUR BIG DAY TOMORROW. YOU RELAX. I’M TAKING YOUR MEE-MAW TO THE STORE LATER TO SHOP FOR THE SPECIAL DINNER I’M MAKING FOR MY LITTLE BABY, MY BIG MAN BRAVING THE WORLD.” 49 Gaylord Brewer Again, Octavius’s mind failed to conjure any suitable response. He started down the hall and toward the steps to his loft and the waiting rumpled softness of bed. The Big Day he preferred, if possible, and as he had already admirably managed, to continue not to think about. He could smell the smoke as he passed the GD’s closed door, and as he paused—the delectation of proffered rest heightened by its momentary delay—heard a chorus of husky, albeit muffled, denials and teary accusations from within the room. As Skye and Faith, doubtless, drag Luke from the raging hotel fire. As, fearing she might have killed Antonio in an amnesiac state, Erica hires Tad to investigate. As, moreover, Ridge tells Brook that to get on with their lives the annulment papers must be...