Bin Laden's Bald Spot: & Other Stories

Title Page, Copyright, Acknowledgment, Dedication

Bin Laden’s BaLd spot this page intentionally left blank Bin Laden’s BaLd spot & other stories Brian doyLe Red Hen Press | Pasadena, CA Bin Laden’s Bald Spot & Other Stories Copyright © 2011 by Brian Doyle All rights reserved No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without the prior written permission of both the publisher and the copyright owner. Book layout by Andrew Mendez ISBN: 978-1-59709-179-4 (eBook) ISBN: 978-1-59709-461-0 (hardcover) ISBN: 978-1-59709-915-8 (tradepaper) Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Doyle, Brian, 1956 Nov. 6Bin Laden’s bald spot & other stories / Brian Doyle. —1st ed. p. cm. ISBN 978-1-59709-915-8 (tradepaper) I. Title. PS3604.O9547B56 2011 813’.6—dc22 2011013319 The Los Angeles County Arts Commission, the National Endowment for the Arts, the California Arts Council and Los Angeles Department of Cultural Affairs partially support Red Hen Press. First Edition Published by Red Hen Press www.redhen.org acknowLedgements Most of these peculiar tales first appeared in magazines and such, and I thank the editors of same for printing my fictive misadventures. Brave editors, them editors. “AAA Plus” appeared in Harper’s magazine, all due respect and bowing gratefully to the deft editor Elizabeth Giddens. “Ramon Martinez . . . ” appeared in The Sun, that subtle & startling magazine published in North Carolina by Sy Safransky. Most sincere thanks to his skinny relentless cheerful Synergy. “Ramon” then appeared in Opium magazine, thanks to Ian Bassingthwaighte, a Wodehousean moniker if ever I heard one. “The Boyfriends Bus” appeared in Harvard Review, courtesy of editor Christina Thompson. “The Cuckold 10K” and “The Train” were in Natural Bridge (Volumes 7 and 10, respectively), which is published at the University of Missouri-Saint Louis. Special thanks to then-editor David Carkeet, who is a heck of a fine novelist, you know. If you have never read his baseball novel The Greatest Slump of All Time do so. It’s hilarious and poignant. “Hurtgen” appeared in U.S. Catholic, where it won a 2007 Catholic Press Association Award, which was pretty cool, although there was no beer in it for me, and I thank editor Meinrad Scherer-Emunds for letting it through the inky door. “Lucy,” “Blue,”“WakingtheBishop,”and“Yoda”alsoappearedinU.S.Catholic , and my particular thanks to editors Maureen Abood, Cathy O’Connell-Cahill, and Heidi Schlumpf. “Stay Flush” appeared in Mary magazine from Saint Mary’s College in Moraga , California, which is a lovely place altogether, the crisp and brilliant air, the mountains in the distance, the grinning students. The funky webzine Smokebox, edited by the bizarre writers Marc Covert and John Richen, printed, or posted, “Malo” and “A Confession.” Listen, when you are done reading this book, go hit the web for Smokebox and read through their hilarious and angry and eloquent archive of David James Duncan stuff. One of the great writers in the U S of A, Duncan is, despite his taste for the foul mudpuddle swill called Scottish whiskey. “Mule,” which first appeared in Flyway, the literary journal from Iowa State University (thanks to discerning young editor Alaura Wilfert), then also appeared in Smokebox, with a haunting piece of art by John Richen. “The Fox” appeared in The Pinch, a journal published by writing students at the University of Memphis; the journal’s title is from an old neighborhood of that seething city, so called because of the starving Irish immigrants who once flooded it. Prayers on those frightened brave exiled souls, ravenous and weary. “King of the Losers” appeared in New Letters, edited by the excellent essayist Robert Stewart; New Letters is published at the University of Missouri at Kansas City. For fun visit www.newletters.org. “Chino’s Story” appeared in River & Sound Review, thanks to Jay Bates and Julie Case, and “Do You Think We Should Pull Over?” appeared in The Kenyon Review, thanks to David Lynn and Andre Bernard. for my brother John Kevin Doyle this page intentionally left blank ...