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76 access to so many places. I remember when stores didn’t have security guards. Hell, I remember going to Foley’s and Neiman-Marcus and Battlestein’s in downtown Houston and just telling the clerk my parents ’ name and address, and being able to charge clothes. \ Saturdaywewenttoamemorialservice.Afterward,an80-yearold cousin of the family started talking to us and looked at my hair and said, You’re an artist, aren’t you? You’re making a statement. I didn’t feel like saying, NO, I HAVE CANCER, so I said, Yeah, I’m a writer. APRIL 19. HEAD COVERING I became un-Mohawked last night. I’d suspected that the Mohawk was staying put mostly because of hair gel. I combed it, and the Mohawk came out in hunks, leaving a very thin veil of hair behind. When Linc came home from basketball, I made him trim and electric-shave the middle of my head. There were strange ridges left around the Mohawk border, and I made him shave more, even though he was dead tired. Then I was mad at him because he hadn’t been eager and adept, but mostly because I was so unhappy to lose my hair. The Mohawk was fun, he said, and bald isn’t fun. Today I am feeling droopy because I am un-Mohawked even though I am still grateful and pleased by having received two hats (one handmade) in the mail from friends. The sun is shining, the daffodils might actually recover from being cold-nipped the other day, but I had trouble sleeping last night and I want to go crawl somewhere and watch a movie. But I want to walk three miles and grade some papers. I went to the bank today to finish up some work on my ira I’d started Tuesday, and the guy there had to copy down my driver’s license number. He looked at the picture and asked me (wearing a hat) how I went from the driver’s license hair to a Mohawk. I said, Chemo. And told him I’d lost the Mohawk yesterday. Oh, he said, that’s not too exciting. He seemed disappointed. I suppose he wanted to hear about a dramatic midlife shift. Maybe he imagined getting free tickets to hear me play in a punk band. And thus his life would be changed. ...

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