The Adventures of Cancer Bitch

MORE MARCH 2. LOOKING AT IT

42 she was and bent over from the wind. She was afraid to go outside. She has osteoporosis and of course doesn’t want to fall and break her hip. We got her to take a cab at three o’clock. She called Linc when the cab arrived here and he escorted her inside. Now she is on the phone negotiating a rate for a few more days at her hotel downtown. She has a reservation for a hotel closer to here, but she’s afraid it won’t be warm enough and there’s no indoor coffee shop or restaurant. I haven’t taken a shower yet. I’m planning to do that later today , and will unwrap the Ace bandage wrapped around my chest. And I’ll see the incision. I’m surprised and pleased that there’s still some of the curve left on the top of my left breast. Because of the bandage I’m pretty flat on both sides, which makes it easier to get used to things. The surgeon said the incision won’t be flat, there will be rolls of skin, because she saved skin for the later reconstruction. There’s an enterprise I’ve found online that sells T-shirts that say Under Reconstruction on the front. Yikes. There’s also a woman who paints with her breasts and donates the profits to breast cancer research. Her line of T-shirts and stationery is called Breast Buddies and consists of different pairs of colored blobs decorated to make cherries and bumblebees. I can’t imagine anyone buying these except Hooters customers. I’m sure if I looked, I’d find guys who paint with their penises. It’s bad enough that cats paint. MORE MARCH 2. LOOKING AT IT I looked at the incision. To do that I rolled down the camisole and the Ace bandage. There is still some curve to my breast. How much is swelling, I don’t know. There are angry stitches on the edge by my underarm and sunken-in stitches about three-fourths of the way across the breast, making the breast look smooshed in, like it’s been in an accident. It hasn’t been; it’s been in an on-purpose. Not as horrible as I thought. I put the bandage back on and then replaced some gauze as protection, between the skin and the mastectomy camisole. I’m going to call it my Soviet camisole; it’s unlovely and utilitarian and looks like it was designed by a committee way way before Perestroika. ...