Mark Twain Speaking

91. Commemoration Luncheon

MARK TWAIN SPEAKING - 91305 A commemoration luncheon celebrated the proclamation of the Province of South Australia on December 28, 1836. Mark Twain spoke for the visitors present. Having apparently recovered from the distemper caused by Matthew Arnold and other British critics, he elaborated upon the theme ofinternational amity. Speech Commemoration Luncheon, Glenelg, Australia, December 30,1895 Necessarily I deplore with Sir Richard Baker any thought or suggestion of war between America and England-for certainly never in the history of mankind would any war or was any war so disastrous as this suggested war would be. We know Lord Macaulay said the effects of the Thirty Years' War were felt in the valley of the Mississippi two hundred years after the event, but the effects of this war may extend over five centuries. It would certainly stand in the way of the progress and intelligence of the whole world for generations. Therefore you will listen to no talk of war between these countries. Blood is thicker than water, and there must be no bloodshed between England and America. I recognize in the remarks made by the Commissioner of Public Works that feeling, which was also suggested in the speech of His Worship, that feeling of sentiment which exists between England and America, and which is not called into force except under stress like this-this talk of war. I remember reading of some distinguished American traveling through France being suddenly wakened up by a name-the name of that great battle fought by Henry V upon the soil of France-and this American said he felt exalted. He thought, why should that be? Why should it make my heart bound to think that eight thousand Englishmen under Henry V had slaughtered sixty thousand Frenchmen under the French king and the chivalry of France? So he had to stop and reflect of what source the feeling was, and he recognized that it was the English blood flowing in his veins which was 306 MARK TWAIN SPEAKING answering after five hundred years to his English ancestors. So blood is thicker than water. I am glad to say I know there is another American present. I did not suspect it until I heard him lift up his voice, and when he lifted it up I knew by certain signs that there was another American here. Those signs are patented. Those signs are these-that his voice was for peace between England and America. Another sign was that in all he said there was no suggestion ofanything but cast iron veracity. In all he said there was truth, and by that truth I knew he was an American. There was another sign that there was another American present. I noticed he made more noise than the other seven speakers. Now, by the voice of the visitors whom I represent, I thank your Worship for the hospitality which you have extended to us. I have the privilege to congratulate you upon certain things-your supreme climate. When it was mentioned by these gentlemen here you did not respond with enthusiasm, but perhaps to you your climate is commonplace , but it is not commonplace to other people at all. I am not used to a climate like this. In these specimens it is altogether perfect, when in midwinter you have summer, and where you have neither mosquitoes nor snow. It is real pleasant to those travelers who are come from the overworked regions of the earth. What satisfaction it is to find ourselves in this restful South Australia , and where apparently it is always a holiday-and where, when you have no holiday and nothing else to do, it is always a horse race. It has become a blessed land, it seems to me. And then you have a spirit of independence here which cannot be overpraised. You place your holidays, not in accordance with the day, but to suit your own comfort and convenience. I passed through Australia when you were celebrating the Prince ofWales' birthday upon the 8th, upon the 10th, or upon the 11th-skipped the 9th altogether. I suppose there was a horse race. I consider it a privilege to be present upon this day. No doubt it is your greatest day. There can be no worthier day to celebrate than the day that saw the foundation of this community to join the march of civilization, learning, and liberty. I saw the old gumtree as I came along, and as I approached...