Mark Twain Speaking

61. Our Children

210 MARK TWAIN SPEAKING· 61 · Melville D. Landon, the "Eli Perkins" ofthe lecture circuit, who was present on the occasion ofthe dinner speech below, said ofMark Twain: "He arose slowly and stood, halfstooping over the table. Both hands were on the table, palms to thefront. There was a look ofintense earnestness about his eyes. It seemed that the weight ofan empire was upon his shoulders. His sharp eyes looked outfrom under his shaggy eyebrows, movingfrom one guest to another, as a lawyer scans hisjury in a death trial. Then he commenced, very slowly." See: Kings of the Platform and Pulpit, ed. Melville D. Landon (1901). Our Children Authors Club Dinner, Gilsey House, New York, April 22, 1886 Our children-yours-and-mine. They seem like little things to talk about-our children, but little things often make up the sum of human life-that's a good sentence. I repeat it, littl~ things often produce great things. Now, to illustrate, take Sir Isaac Newton-I presume some of you have heard of Mr. Newton. Well, once when Sir Isaac Newton-a mere lad-got over into the man's apple orchard-I don't know what he was doing there-I didn't come all the way from Hartford to q-u-e-s-t-i-o-n Mr. Newton's honesty-but when he was there-in the man's orchard-he saw an apple fall and he was a-t-tracted toward it, and that led to the discovery-not of Mr. Newtonbut of the great law of attraction and gravitation. And there was once another great discoverer-I've forgotten his name, and I don't remember what he discovered, but I know it was something very important, and I hope you will all tell your children about it, when you get home. Well, when the great discoverer was once loafin' around down in Virginia, and a-puttin' in his time flirting with Pocahontas-Oh, CaptainJohn Smith, that was the man's name!-and while he and Poca were sitting in Mr. Powhatan's garden, he accidentally put his arm around her and picked something-a simple weed, which proved to be tobacco-and now we find it in every Christian family, shedding its civilizing influence broadcast throughout the whole religious community. MARK TWAIN SPEAKING 211 Now there was another great man, I can't think ofhis name either, who used to loaf around, and watch the great chandelier in the cathedral at Pisa, which set him to thinking about the great law of gunpowder, and eventually led to the discovery of the cotton gin. Now, I don't say this as an inducement for our young men to loaf around like Mr. Newton, and Mr. Galileo, and Captain Smith, but they were once little babies, two days old, and they show what little things have sometimes accomplished. Text / Composite, based upon: "Our Children," Kings of the Platform and Pulpit, ed. Melville D. Landon (Akron, 1901):351-52; "Our Children and Great Discoveries," MTS(10):69-70.· 62 · At a monthly meeting ofthe Military Service Institution, attended by Generals Sherman, Schofield, andJames B. Fry, Mark Twain readfrom the manuscript of A Connecticut Yankee, which he was desultorily working on at the time. He told his audience that he would explain the first chapter, then follow with selectedfragments or, as he put it, "outline the rest ofit in bulk, so to speak; do as the dying cowboy admonished his spiritual adviser to do, yust leave out the details and heave in the bottom facts.' " In the reading the central character, called Hank Morgan in the book, is Sir Robert Smith of Camelot, formerly of Hartford, and there are some differences in diction and phrasing between the spoken version and the published text. Yankee Smith of Camelot Military Service Institution, Governor's Island, New York, November 11,1886 I am a Yankee of the Yankees, a practical man, nearly barren of sentiment or poetry-in other words, my father was a blacksmith, my uncle was a horse doctor, and I was both. Then I went over to the great arms factory and learned my real trade-learned to make everything, ...